why the world is round like an orange

2006-05-24T20:46:00.000+08:00

You won't listen to me otherwise, so I hope you'll read again and understand. I don't want to speak of this, because I know I will just get agitated and spoil everything.

I must really learn to be more empathatic and sensitive, I know, sometimes I feel really bad about myself, but I have to be honest - I have totally no respect for people who show their weaknesses, or try to appeal to pity.

But it's true, isn't it? Instead of trying to guilt trip, why don't you work to change others' impression of you? It's not going to help, because if you don't change I will still see the same flaws no matter how I try to understand. Trust me, I've tried. Can't you see, that sometimes it is your fault, and not always mine, unlike what I always end up saying? I can say sorry as many times as you want me to, but tell me, what's the point of having me submit verbally but not in my heart?

People are people, regardless of their relationship to me. And yes, that's the way I want you to treat me too, because of the person that I am. I don't care what others say about me, as long as what I've done does not go against my conscience, and I know that I was right. If I was wrong, I will just take it in my stride. Guilt-tripping will just put my in fear of hurting you again, but deep inside, my respect will still waver. What I want is true respect, but it has to start with you!

Besides, it's not like I interfere with your personal life. We never pry more than you want to say. First the diary, then this. Sometimes I really don't know what belongs to me, what doesn't!

We got our partas back today (:
haha didn't know we could be so cheesy! xD

2006-05-23T21:56:00.000+08:00

Empathy isn't one out of my five strengths, and I think I know why. Sometimes I really cannot understand why some people behave the way they do - do they want something so badly; why can't they just be more open; why would people choose to be pessimistic when they can choose to be happy; why everything! It's quite silly really, because there I am, wondering why everyone does such unsensible things, and then I turn around and who do I see in the mirror?

Sometimes effort isn't reflected in performance, and someone you had always thought under-performed could very well be the only one who had put in her 200%. But life wasn't meant to be fair, was it? Don't we all know - after 3 years of blood, sweat and tears. And I really think it's time some people let go. C'est un peu trop longue, non?

3 months to ORD, time passes fast.
Actually, I think I will miss RGS.

2006-05-22T21:29:00.000+08:00

THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

All underaged children are to avoid typing and loading any web addresses that contain the code www.youtube.com. It is lethal, addictive, and possibly fatal (for your studies). ESPECIALLY AVOID typing in the key words "aqmfs" AI QING MO FA SHI and "dby" DEVIL BESIDE YOU into the search engine.

The good looking faces and happy smiles are just facades to lure unknowing young people into their clawed traps, from which once entering, there is no turning back. You must complete the course and suffer the consequences.

Parents, please keep your children away from these items. At no price should your children be exposed to such material. What wrong impressions they will have of the real world!

For adults, if symptoms of daydreaming, mooning and giggling to yourself pervade, please turn to the librarian for help. I strongly recommend "Newton: Physics for the Advanced" to rid yourself of this condition.

Remember: IDOL DRAMAS ARE BAAADDD FOR YOU!

2006-05-22T21:13:00.000+08:00

Our last annual camp, hmm!
Our seniors were right, before you know it, 4 years are over and it's time for you to ORD. I remember being a lost part a, making the stupidest mistakes ever, being a part b, putting in more and more and more and more, being a part c - the point from which everything changes, and then now, a part d.

Now we find it quite ridiculous that we complained as a part. I miss aching after camps, pumping together under the sun, sitting at our territory and gossiping about seniors and juniors and platmates! We never said it, and we kind of took it for granted, that there will always be someone there you can talk to, no matter what.

But when we got the room everything changed. I shouldn't go on, it's not like it will help.

We promised, we will let go of the company once we have retired.

2006-05-08T21:44:00.000+08:00

It's three weeks to the end of the term, and everything's going wrong. Sometimes you really wonder if it's because you aren't good enough, if the many late nights aren't enough, if you're the one who brought everything crashing down.

I think I've been wrong for 3 years, apathy isn't the mildest, it's the most intense feeling you can get when met with disappointment.

Responsibility? Falling, and pulling everything down along with you as you fall.

Secondary school life is supposed to be one of the best times of your life, but somehow, when you're going through it, it doesn't seem as glorious as it's supposed to be! Perhaps it's glorious simply because of all the laughter and tears.

Does it mean that, when you grow up, you won't laugh and cry anymore? Because when you grow up you realise that it's so much less painful to just build that mental brick wall. It's experience, hmm. Sometimes you really wonder, what is it that holds people back - is it civilisation, or is it desensitisation?

2006-04-23T18:09:00.000+08:00

LOOK, NEW TEMPLATE!

I know it's quite bad >< it's really cluttered, but hey, it's my record time for creating a new template! :D

One day during the hols when I have time to moon over whether the picture should be 70 px wide or 80, I will make a nicer one. (:

As for now, this will do - as a belated promise.

2006-04-22T17:26:00.000+08:00

Today I woke up at an unearthly hour - it was still cold (hey, it's Singapore!) and I sneezed my way to the airport. :(

Yuxin's probably waiting for her 5hour transit flight in Beijing now! She's off for the ASEAN Physics Olympiad in Kazakhstan (I had to look on the map to find it :/)

And I've decided, I must work harder and be like her! (: I choose to believe that geniuses are nurtured, not nature, and it just depends on when you start putting in all your best! I'm just 8 years late, but better late than never! :D

Okay so here's my next goal - just like my New Year Resolutions, forgotten and probably unachieved - to represent Singapore for an intellectual competition sometime soon! :D

Haha it's good to have someone inspiring at home! :D

I don't like having people I admire and people I look down upon together. Why must some people behave differently in front of others? It's so annoying! She behaves like a 5 year-old, giggling, poking us, slapping us on the back, laughing at everything, with a perpetual, fake smile on her face. And when people are gone, she goes oh-so-quiet and tries to look pensive and sad and blank, hoping that we would notice and ask, "Are you okay?". WTH> ?!

I'd like to apologise to everyone who I've never asked that question to, when I should have, but I really can't shrug off that shroud of distrust just like that.
When you've have someone who's been acting for 15 years of your life, you can't help but wonder if the rest are.

Perhaps our whole lives are just one big puppet show.

2006-04-22T17:15:00.000+08:00

We had in conversation ytd, a talk by one, an actress and arts educator, two, an art critic, three, a mucisian. The dying culture of art in Singapore, hm? It's a very debatable subject, yes, but I still maintain that it's not our Singaporeans' apathy that's causing unpopularity of local theatre sales, but the lack of time. Foreign plays usually come only once a while, and they'll have to be the really good Broadway plays to travel - Mama Mia, Phantom of the Opera etc. Local plays, however, are available, and you can't expect us to watch plays night-on-night can you!

What's more, it doesn't matter even if 100% of the population watches plays on weekdays- our absolute numbers will never match up to New York.

Frankly, I would go for all those events in Life! if I had the time, and if just going to the esplanade didn't take the better part of an hour.

But it is a two way thing, I admit - in the first place we should be more willing to invest in neighbourhood theatres than simply cinemas.

Actually, Hollywood is play-acting too, just in a videotape. (:

But I think, the most important bit is that, in the evenings, people aren't really prepared to go through another abstract, mind-provoking art display! You're brain dead and you want nothing more than to just laugh at your idiotbox aka the television.

Oh dear, are actors there for us to laugh at then! o.O

2006-04-20T22:49:00.000+08:00

If I haven't slept for too many days, or watched too much TV, my eyes become really hot and watery and I can't open them :(

Why does the lack of sleep and oversaturation of TV have the same syndromes?

I can't wait for the weekend,
I can't wait for the June Hols! :D

2006-04-16T21:18:00.000+08:00

it's curious that something i can't touch, can't hold, can't see, can make such a big impact. music! it's so serious i'm sure i could sue it for cheating my emotions with empty promises.

the most selfish thing is to serve others, as by giving, you receive the most. artists are the most selfish people on earth then, giving their heart and soul to their music. (: and more of course, like the brilliant scientists and academicians (right?) and writers. but somehow discovering sth that always existed doesn't seem as wondrous as creating sth of your own. you can't pluck a melody from the air!

or perhaps you could say, melodies always existed - there are only 7 pitches in the key anyway. like chemical reactions, you just have to find the right notes to react!

music tells of the untold story in your heart, <3
singing tells of the love you have of that story.

haha isn't everything that sounds nice a lie?
just like things that are good for you don't usually taste good.
liang2 yao4 ku3 kou3 ah!

2006-04-15T21:10:00.001+08:00

Haha! Because yesterday daddy and mummy thought "my friends" would be coming over to do a project, they brought home LOADS of food! When in fact, it was just one rachel!

6 mini-tubs of ice cream (yum!), chocolate cake (with a chocolate liquid centre), muffins, chips, drinks, bananas (?) , nuts (?) and a very excited little sister :/

I think they're really cute they always buy lots of food when sb's coming over, but in the end it always ends up with me eating everything up! I try to convince myself that it's okay because I haven't eaten potato chips for weeks, and then I'd realise we just had our class party last thursday (JUNK galore!) or sth - you get the idea!

When I've been sitting in my room for too long the air somehow develops this .. oppressive ness, and I have to open the window to let fresh air in. :/ But I don't know if it's the air that's stale, or my brain.

Gah, math can be really uplifting, or really depressing! But whatever it is, I always feel so depleted after doing math - just like after a night of bridge. I think my brain burns out too fast. :/

And after listening to the radio for a whole day, my head seems to swim and I can't go anywhere without having sounds in my head!

But I like it. :)
If only I could sing well!

2006-04-09T16:16:00.000+08:00

I've finally read the Da Vinci Code, probably a year after everyone's done discussing it.

I wish I'd read it before we went to France last year, and the Musee de Louvre would have taken on a totally different light. After all that sight-seeing, Versailles and the musee were just one and another pretty building - what a mistake it was not to pay attention!

I don't know when I'll ever see these paintings, the very same that had once only existed in the mind's eye of such idolised artists, centuries ago.

But yes, the acclaimed Mona Lisa was smoky. Sfumato, did I get it right?

Philosophy has just ingrained in us the fear of seeing allusions and parallels in every movie we watch, and now I'll be seeing it in tourist attractions too - maybe there' sth special about this rock, or that tree. You'll never know! o.O

Perhaps it's good to be a freethinker - I'd never read about how what I've believed in all my life was just an international bestseller. For all you know, Harry Potter may evolve into a religious figure, blessing one and all with his magical crooked wand and scotch-taped spectacles. Hermione would be the Goddess of Wisdom, and if Ron was the God of War, we'd be wearing frilly robes for battle.

It's not that far-fetched as it sounds, really!

The new improved power 98! I really wish I coud enunciate like Jason Mraz!
And I really really want to be back in France! :(

2006-04-05T21:45:00.000+08:00

I was looking at my blog and I realised that I've been trying to drink more soy bean milk for a year but still, the white on my nails hasn't faded. :/

Liar liar pants on fire!
Maybe it's a lack of zinc or sth. What should I eat now? Slum roofs? :(

I used to blog differently. Haha. Happier, I think.

2006-04-05T21:21:00.000+08:00

Why have we all been so busy these days? Go to school, go home, eat, do work, try to sleep. Go to school, go home, eat, do work, try to sleep. Go to school, go home, eat, do work, try to sleep. Do you want to guess what happens next?

Sometimes I wonder if life would have been better if I had stayed in Qiaonan and gone to a neighbourhood secondary school instead. But I would never know how oppressive and encouraging a place can be at the same time, and I would never have wondered what it would have been like in a neighbourhood school.

Perhaps we should all just resign to our fate? Tell me that that's the mark of a loser.

I've been feeling really world-weary these days! :( Not good for someone of age 15.

The more you look forward to something, the more it can disappoint you. Should we learn never to put our hopes into something, because then it will be the one in control, not you? But if you never take risks you'll never learn and love, will you.

So I have tried to take disappointment in my stride and just go on and pretend nothing happened, and I don't really care, actually. When in fact I do, and a lot.

I know I've never been one to cry - I don't believe it solves problems. But somehow sometimes at the queerest times I just suddenly feel really sad and my nose just kind of turns and goes all sour and a tear leaks out. For the weirdest and most superficial situations!

And then I feel really cold and just wish for a warm, reassuring shoulder to lie my head upon and go to sleep.

I suppose that comes from bottling up everything. :/ Perhaps I should learn to show people when I'm really unhappy. Who cares about tact when you can't protect yourself and those you love?

2006-04-02T23:19:00.000+08:00

It's april now!

I haven't blogged for more than a week, I've realised. :/

ZHIYANG WON! :D
YAY they sang our zhao1pai2 duets! xD and of course lian4ai4da2ren2 won! hahaha!

Usually if there's any competition on TV, if I don't personally like anyone, I'd support the underdogs. But nope, today I made up my mind! They say, if you think hard enough about something it will come true and it did! YAY! Zhiyang won! Haha fine I didn't vote for any of them xD but hey, moral support is very important too!

I hope the campus superstar contestants don't just fade away like lots of these newbies do :( because I've started to like them as personalities! Boy, will their lives change after this.

If only there was someone from our school up there! It would be so much more fun :) even more if we know her well! We could be printing posters and choreographing her video and all, and we'd all be so proud to say, yes we know her! she's our good friend! xD

These things seem to be getting closer and closer to home - especially when I saw the RG girls on TV - but somehow it's all still so faraway and surreal. :/ I can't imagine seeing a classmate up there, really! Even people who perform in school.

Showbiz is quite alarming, actually. Famous people are getting younger and younger!

YAY ZHIYANG WON! :D
Didn't I tell you, lian4ai4da2ren2 works! :D

2006-03-25T22:12:00.000+08:00

because I'm feeling useless and because I'm feeling like I love the world, I shall do the quiz yi-jun wants me to do! :D

seven random facts about me;
1. I like all colours, not just orange!
2. I like to sing :D and to listen to singing too!
3. I have many secret big dreams!
4. I don't just dance like a block of wood, I've been said to look like a block of wood xD
5. (oh no I only have 4!) I am fickle-minded?
6. I like being praised :D
7. I eat my fruits and vegetables! They taste good :D

seven celebrity crushes;
(um I can't say I don't crush anyone, right? :/)
Okay I admire these people either because they are talented, or they acted in sth I like or- you get the idea! (:
1. WU KE QUN!
2. Raymond Lam Fung! :D
3. Bernice Liu (she's so pretty!)
4. Jake Gyllenhaal? George Clooney? Jennifer Garner?
5. I don't know, really! Er the Billy Elliot guy? :S (Jamie Bell!)
6. Okay when I remember the rest I'll tell you!
7.

Seven qualities I want in a potential boyfriend/girlfriend:
1. taller than me!!
2. pleasant-looking (i will find him shuai anw :D)
3. nice and funny/interesting! someone who i will look forward to seeing :D cos he brightens up my day!
4. loves me lots!
5. caring, sensitive
6. romantic! so he will serenade me from the park below my balcony xD and send me 99 ferrero rocher roses every valentine's! haha!
7. yup and like yi-jun says, chemistry!

Seven things that scare me:
1. losing my sight
2. losing people around me
3. dying a horrible and painful death :S
4. becoming like some people around me / going against my own principles 5. losing my sense of colour
6. being ostracised / having no friends
7. to be forgotten

Seven random songs at the moment:
1. feng
2. jian jian dan dan
3. take me to your heart
4. at the beginning
5. right here waiting
6. hui you na me yi tian
7. crawling back to you

Seven things I like the most: (in no particular order)
1. 2A2B!
2. rgsncc! :D
3. singing!
4. chocolate and candy!
5. watching tv
6. PLAYING/going out
7. making new friends :D / learning new things / being praised! haha / TRAVELLING and adventure!

Seven things I plan to do before I die:
1. Fly
2. Travel around the world
3. Be able to communicate in at least 5 languages
4. Read a really good book
5. Star in a movie
6. Marry (fall in love first, of course!)
7. And then die for someone (:
ooh I want to drive too, and to sit in a hot air balloon! :D

Seven things I say the most:
1. -sigh
2. hello!
3. HAHAHAHAHA
4. eeeeeyer!
5. la!
6. *sings* (:D does that count? haha!)
7. hmmm?
gah I can't think of anything else! I'm good I speak good english I don't have uh wei-yings! Is that what they are called? :/ casual expressions!

Seven people i want to do this too:
1. pltmates
2. family of 27
3. i don't know! someone whose blog i will read! :D

Go! Do this quiz! Someone will learn something new about you and then I would have done a good deed! (: Yuhui the saint! hahaha!

2006-03-24T20:37:00.000+08:00

Everytime I write a song (haha nope I'm not a budding local songwriter it's just RS!) I feel that it's the best in the world and oh-so-full-of-potential but within the span of the next five days, it suddenly loses all its glamour and ..niceness! WHY! :( Why can't I like my own songs longer?

I don't know why others say that we are the best assessors of our own performance - I have these fatal blind spots that I can never place a finger on! And I always think I can do something best, even though it's really quite bad. :(

Go on, laugh at me! Or should I say, go on, continue to laugh at me!

Remember the last time I said I really wanted to join the Singapore Youth Flying Club? Well, it's come back again! On Wed the entire physics s4 batch went to the science centre for a talk about tension (good time to play hangman!), a show about fighter pilots and a talk by the RSAF. And I felt so good being able to qualify for all the requirements! :D (except for age)

I really really want to fly!

But it's sad, because my desire is nothing about the noble notion of "man had been made to break conventions, man had been meant to fly". But rather, it's simply because I feel that I can, and that because I have the capability (namely long arms and legs, good eyesight), I should fly.

And also, simply because it's the closest to dreaming I can get.

2006-03-17T22:32:00.000+08:00

Usually I always have something to blog about but I don't know why recently I... I think I'm thinking less and less :/

THE MUCH AWAITED MARCH HOLIDAYS -

are just about over. As usual, I have the feeling that I've been very busy throughout the whole week, but I can't really put a finger on what I have actually done. Shame on me!

My phone is barely a week ~~old~~ young but already it looks a year old. Scratches, smudges, prints, you name it, my phone has it. And it's 5 days old. What can I say? My things tend to grow on me quickly. Haha!

It's like that with my shoes too... :/

Why does Nerry have a fan club and I don't! :(

2006-03-13T16:11:00.001+08:00

Yesterday I finally got my new phone! :D

TA-DAAA MY BEAUTIFUL Sony Ericsson Z520i!

Haha it's not as pretty as it looks in the webpage (I think it looks very pretty there) - I changed the ceramic white cover to pale yellow (which came free with the phone), which Meera kindly described as puke yellow, if I remembered right (don't think I did though).

Everytime I buy something I take so long to decide (fickle!) but in the end I always end up with one of the first things I chose. Just like this phone.

But as usual, once I'd bought it, I was mesmerised and couldn't stop looking at it! (but this only applies to the 3 phones I've had so far T.T) Until now, I still feel so happy and hip each time I look at my phone. Hahaha! It's so silly really, that people are so amazed by simple light effects or 3d graphics on little machines invented by the very same people.

Or maybe it's just me!

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE GATHERING! VIVE LA FAMILLE DE 27! :D VIVE LA FRANCE! VIVE VIVE VIVE TOUT LE MONDE!
Hahaha I think I'm so happy because I had subway this afternoon. :D Mmm, subway!

2006-03-08T19:40:00.000+08:00

Buying on impulse should be a sin!

Do you know how many many many many things I have bought just within these days just because i thought for a moment, oh so pretty!
Then I'd really be condemned to the eighteenth level of hell =(

I previously thought it was very smart of me not to bring money down for recess so I wouldn't try to buy anything, but it doesn't work. :( Either that, or I try fiddling around with my mind, thinking - I really don't want to eat that ice cream, I mean, look at it, it looks so awful and not yummy at all and you need to save that dollar for your university fees...

Okay, it doesn't really work either. But, don't fictional grannies always say, it never hurts to try!

Then again, there are the times when I buy them not just on impulse, but also in an effort to become a more uh .. useful citizen. Like making my own earrings and necklaces and buying cross stitch cloth, so as to spend my holidays doing something more useful than, well, stoning (which I am famous at haha) or mooning away.

But ultimately in the end it's all on impulse. Why, because wanting to be useful is also nothing more than an impulse.

2006-03-04T21:17:00.000+08:00

SURVIVOR'S LAW HAS ENDED! =(

There's no TV to look forward to every night anymore! BOOHOO there's no more direction to my life! Except of course to be the next Ms Chinese International, and then go to HongKong and work side by side with Raymond. Haha! xD

(I like LE BIN! :D He's the funniest and the nicest, the ideal (boy)friend! See, Rachel agrees too!)

hmmmmmm,

Touch-and-go is not a good strategy to apply to your life, I've realised, though experience hasn't exactly changed my attitude much.

I've dabbled in so many things, thought I was good at this, at that, but in the end, I realise I'll never be a specialist in anything. Of all the people I admire, it's those who perform stunningly well in one area - the exact opposite of me. I'm sure I could be good in something - everyone could be good at one thing - if I had really settled down and decided that, I SHALL do this.

For a moment I wanted to be a policewoman, then a writer, then a cook, then a food-taster, then a chinese princess, then an english governess, then a cowboy, then a lawyer, then an actress, then a writer again, then a surgeon, then an international ambassador, then a singer, and what now, a wushu exponent?

Yes I know, I've firmly believed in the most ridiculous of ideas some time in my life, but at that point none of it seemed ridiculous - I thought if I trained myself enough - wrote enough stories, sang enough songs, practised crying hard enough, did ma3 bu4 long enough, one day I would be able to produce award-winning pieces, use Grammy or Academy awards as paperweights, or be able to flip better than Jet Li. But alas! Yuhuis must remain Yuhuis.

I suppose I will be unknown forever.

2006-03-02T23:54:00.000+08:00

the sky was dark with war
when grandmother was young
their love was beautiful
but brittle

grandfather was summoned by duty
forcefully, he had no choice
the night beckoned, so
he kissed her forehead
and said,

it's time that i leave
don't cry or despair, but believe in me
and wait for the eternal love,
because there will be that one day
where i can hold your hand
and walk down the unruffled green fields
to the happy birdsong and blue sky
and whisper to the wind,
that i love you

when the sun had left the sky
grandmother lay in deathly silence
shadows from the moon like shadows from her eyes
yet she smiled, gently

for the last time she gazed at his wet, withered cheeks
and held his his wrinkled hands.
her tears began to fall
she said,

it's time that i leave
don't cry or despair, but believe in me
and wait for the eternal love,
because there will be that one day
where i can hold your hand
and walk down the green fields
to the birdsong and blue sky
and whisper to the wind,
that i will always love you.

disclaimer: this work isn't exactly mine!

2006-02-28T23:01:00.000+08:00

RGS YME 2006 MUSIC CD is available for pre-ordering NOW! Composed, Sung and Recorded by our very own RGS girls. (:

For just $10 you can pre-order to get the PREMIUM PACKAGE, with exclusive, limited edition packaging and a video CD! Support the students' effort, charity and KICKSTART OUR SINGING CAREER! What's more, you get to hear the beautiful voices of your schoolmates (and laugh at them for the rest of your life)!

HAHAHAHA :D (but the laughing thing only applies to yours truly :$)

We have made great plans! Soon there will be a website and booths in the canteen and hall and posters in the foyer and songs during assembly! And talk that we have sold 1000 cds and the number is still rising fast. xD

But it all ultimately starts with the PRE-ORDER! Without the PRE-ORDER you do not receive the special benefits you can get in the premium package, without the pre-order we have no idea how badly you want our cd! Haha! So what are you waiting for?

Approach anyone of the 8 of the YME group to pre-order NOW! For any further enquires, pls email yuhui. Thank you for your support! (:

2006-02-26T14:44:00.000+08:00

> Subject: Planet Mars August 27 '2005

> > > > > > > Planet Mars will be the brightest in the night sky starting August.
> > > It will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye.
> > > This will culminate on Aug. 27 when Mars comes within 34.65M miles > of earth.
> > > Be sure to watch the sky on Aug. 27 12:30 am.
> > > It will look like the earth has 2 moons.
> > > The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287.

> > > Share this with ur friends as NO ONE ALIVE TODAY will ever see it > again .....^_^

Naturally, I missed it.
Will it ever occur to me again, how precious time is? One second it's there, and before you can even say it's there, it's gone.

In the same way, some people come into your life for one precious moment, and before you can even say how much they mean to you, they're gone. How many times have I regretted not asking for a phone number, or an email address, or a photograph, or learning more about him/her?

Somehow, even though they said I could go back anytime I want to, I don't think I'll ever see Deborah again. :/ Or Romane, Mateo, Christian and Isabelle.

In fact, they're just representative of all the people I have let go off. Perhaps it's because I am not good at keeping others' hearts that I rarely give mine out.

But I'm digressing.

This teaches all of us, if Saturn ever comes close to the Earth to shed light on the world (like Mars did), make sure you don't miss it, and remind me not to!

2006-02-22T17:27:00.001+08:00

Now we shall move on to the debate of the era! Life and death issue, affecting many. And I'm speaking the truth, you'll have to admit.

The House: Which do you prefer, CANDY or CHOCOLATE? (admit it! it's quite a universal topic :D)

I still can't decide if I like candy better, or chocolate more. There are the candy times, and then there are the chocolate times. But hm! You can't have candy-dipped bananas, or candy spread! Chocolate fondue and Nutella are forever infallible.

And so in conclusion, I declare,
chocolate is the key to my heart.

2006-02-22T17:27:00.000+08:00

Am I stereotyping, or is it true that you can tell a writer from her blog? For example, all those I know, or stumble upon, all blog in a very... distinctive manner. You click, the words flash and immediately, "ah, writer".

By writer I include school editorial board, journalist, CAPper or freelance poet! hahaha but I shall not comment further, I have a feeling it may be quite very dangerous! :/

I'm still reeling from the fact I reached home before 4pm today. Can you believe it? Before 4pm?!
All those school reforms and alternative school hours or holiday systems have just been castles in the air. :( School feedback is just like the Principal's Opening Addresses - pure formalities. Goes in and out of the ears of of regardless who!

Speaking of castles, I have yet to visit a real one. I have seen some from afar, with the beautiful grey pebbled walls and the niches that you can see out from but are not supposed to be able to see in from, and the way the tiles on the roof look like they're on the verge of dropping, but manage to salvage themselves in some dangerous and sloping manner (or maybe it's the algae to the rescue!) But it's beautiful either ways. If only it would come true! (this refers to school feedback too)

But perhaps it only appears good because as of now, it's still a fairytale?

2006-02-17T22:33:00.000+08:00

today i realised what an important part your clothes play in the image you portray/how you look. o.O

haha i'd never received so many compliments in a day before! and it's quite an experience, really, to walk into a canteen full of students and have more than half of them turn around to stare, or even gape, at you :X

in the end, the school's still right on insisting to invest all the student leaders, even if they feel it's unnecessary! (: and like always, the items appeared better than they do during the rehearsals. oh the hours and hours of effort! :D

the spls and fiel danced really well! :D esp GEGEGEGEGE haha! and of course cheryl and wanjoo and AJ AND SHUTING (shuai!) and vivian and shuhan! haha yi-jun was saying, on monday when we go to school, there will be many many new fan clubs!

but now i know i will never have a chance to dance in front of the whole school (not that it's a bad thing, mind you)

when people describe something to you it always appears in your mind in a more extreme state than it really is. it may be good, or bad!

today, i went to CANDY EMPIRE for the first time ever! the way zerui and yi-jun discribed it i thought it would be this huge multi-storey gingerbread house built, decorated and furnished with nothing but candy! BREATHING CANDY! what more could you ask for :D

but when we got there it wasn't quite as big as i thought it would be, but it was good, still! i wanted to buy everything but fortunately was otherwise advised by my quickly-flattening wallet. fourteen dollars on candy is definitely splurging! :X

now i am home happy with lots and lots of jellybeans (the jellybean factory!) and nerd ropes and starbust squirts! then daddy came back from germany and i got chocolates! :D

life would be much sorrier without candy!

2006-02-11T22:33:00.000+08:00

an apple a day keeps the doctor away!

you see, my apple experience comes from eating an apple every morning before going to school. not only does it settle half your daily requirement of fruits, it is also supposed to give you the boost for the day you need to stay awake in class! but it doesn't actually seem to work, huh. o.O and there's also that one thing about eating apples in the morning - it's too dark to see worms.
apples used to be my favourite fruit but lately i have been distracted by mandarin oranges and pears and persimmons and grapes (i like grapes!) and longans!

but they all taste like fruit! i haven't eaten a shampoo or coffee-flavoured pear yet! xD

2006-02-10T22:35:00.000+08:00

there comes a point where your occupation is no longer the professional side of you - it becomes your life, or the principles you live by.

people always say, they never let their personal affairs interfere in their careers. is it possible?

i have always admired people who are eloquent, funny and charismatic. i have to learn to appreciate silence and conservatism in people!

i think what is most important to me, is to never lose my sense of wonder and desire to help others. then you will never ever leave empty-handed, because like what mr kenneth tan said, giving is the most selfish act possible, as it is the giver who receives the most.

sometimes the people you least expect to turn to you for help or wave to you in the corridor, and it really brightens up your day. a smile costs little, but pays for a lot. (: of course there are some people that i'm always glad to see, because they're always ready with a smile and something cheerful to share!

friends in need are friends indeed? but to me, i think it is more important to share happiness. no, i am not saying we shouldn't confide our problems in others, i'm saying, share your problems only with those who you know can help you, and as for the rest, continue to spread happiness so that those with problems they never told you, can learn and be happy. (: friends of happiness! that's what i mean. what's the point of being sad, if it only makes other people even more sad, or angry?

and if you get the choice to sit it out or dance, i hope you dance.

2006-02-09T23:02:00.000+08:00

go to dawn ms hk's blog and LISTEN, now! :D

sing in cantonese please! *refer to the attempt at pronunciation
WANG JI SHOU GUO SHANG HAI
mong gei sou guo song hoi
SHI SHE ZUI JIA DE AI
si say zui ga dik noi
YE HUI LING WO KEN XIANG XING ZHE DUAN GAN QING BI BU KAIIII
ya pui ling gno ken sum sing zhe dyun gam qing bay bat koi
WANG JI RU HE REN NAI
mong gei yu hor yan noi
DAN QI DAI YI YE ZHI ZIAN XING GUO LAI
dan kay doi yat ye ji gan xing guo loi
WO HE HI BING YI RU LIAN REN RE AIIII
gno hor gnay bin yi yu lun yan yi noii!

2006-02-09T22:56:00.000+08:00

heehee blogger isn't case sensitive! i was so happy just now i was typing everything in CAPS! CAPS ARE GOOD! YAY!

my life wouldn't be complete without tv, really. :D
and it's not even like i watch a lot of it!

there are some people you know, that through them you get to know more about yourself. some people you know, that through them you get to know more about them. some people you know, that through them you get to know more about other people.

i think the friends i like seem to be the first and third kind. but it's a paradox isn't it? the more i like them, the more i want to know them.

relationships are a complicated matter! friends can turn to foes in a split second, and you don't even realise.

watching tv does no good to your imagination or expectations! haha aren't we all waiting for that day when someone gives you a hundred red roses and two hundred silver ones, waits outside your door in the rain for one day and one night begging for your forgivance, or just smiling, silent watching you!

but of course it all looks much better on screen!
little girls' fantasies, tsk.
it comes with the friends you mix with! hahahaha! :D

2006-02-06T23:31:00.000+08:00

time is really so precious nowadays i might find the five minutes i spend typing this a waste, because i could very well be spending these five minutes sleeping.

or completing yet another proposal, another assignment.

now, music distracts me from my work. i don't understand either why sometimes it seems to help so much, but sometimes it just gets on my nerves. today i feel like a power 98 person, tomorrow a 933 listenener and the day after the melody of silence.

i don't know what i'm talking about either, what i say either comes out incoherently, or in numbers and bullet points about the objective, assessment criteria, scope of work or allocation. and i'm not even a prime member of the school admin!

besides these i also want that GPA. Of course, i can choose freely between coming online and dawdling away time and burrowing myself in those thick thick physics for the advanced and organic chemistry, the potpourri of. it's a conscious choice to enjoy myself, so naturally i have to bear the consequences, no?

no more three point ni- oh gosh what is the world coming to these days!

2006-01-31T22:58:00.000+08:00

is there such a thing as spam blogging?

hahahaha! five times in one day.

2006-01-31T22:57:00.000+08:00

why do i care if people think i'm pretty or not ?
why do i care if people think i'm horrid or not ?
why do i care if it's someone else who falls ?

or do i care at all ?

i'm feeling touchy. bep is getting trashier and trashier.

television and the sorts.

2006-01-31T22:44:00.000+08:00

bah i don't feel like doing anything useful at all, i just want to go back and watch my lu4 zheng4 xin1 ren2 wang2! i just rekindled my long-lost long-forgotten glowing passion yesterday when i started watching the TVBi serial again! i can't believe i'd nearly forgotten all about my then-so-serious resolve to learn cantonese and be the next Ms Chinese International!

alas, i've let you down, my dearest ms hongkong dawn! :(

i don't know why everyone is always so surprised to find out that i listen to 933 and watch chinese serials. "you don't look like that kind of person" they always say. "you look like the kind of person to listen to 987 fm and watch channel 5". true, i do listen to 987 fm, but i was never the kind to watch America's Next Top Model or Project Runway or the sort. eh i don't believe in watching nasty people!

but i am a pioneer, i watched Survivor THE FIRST! now, that's an accomplishment not many people can boast about! hahaha.

and just two years ago i thought taiwan was no good at producing serials. and now i've realised what a grave grave mistake i've made! haha thanks to dearest 2A2B i've now discovered the whole new world of taiwan idol dramas! and i've decided to watch taiwan talk shows to IMPROVE my chinese! haha but of course, TVBi is still the best :D

eh who's the lousiest hmm?
oh, but i not stupid too was surprisingly good. (: haha i never cried so much for a movie before. i'm tough-minded, i am! :D and shawn lee and joshua ang's acting has really improved, just like the cast of harry potter.

have i boasted to you? we saw shawn lee right after the movie! haha bet he'd be laughing if he ever saw this, not that he ever will.

night! lots of homework undone :/ but ahh the chinese new year is supposed to be a break, hmm!

2006-01-31T11:50:00.000+08:00

the chinese new year holidays will be over after today. well it's true, what miss hoo says, that vesak day is the only festive holiday that we truly, by right, enjoy; the only holiday we really get to rest!

chinese new year is supposed to be that famous, celebrated, colourful, noisy, prosperous, crowded, cheerful festival of the year, but somehow, that doesn't seem to register. with each year, it seems to get suspiciously quieter and quieter; the only noise is that from the faraway celebrations in the television or my sister throwing a tantrum. eating goodies, watching tv, watching tv and well, watching tv - that's about my whole chinese new year holiday.

in fact, chinese new year might just be an excuse to watch television.
i never knew watching too much television could make you tear, but yesterday, i actually couldn't stand watching anymore television! can you believe it! o.O (i couldn't, not for a while)

naturally, there are always those red packets we receive from teachers and family, but when we only visit one other family - our cousins - how many red packets can one gather?
our parents are encouraging us to go out to visit our own friends, now. should we? and miss the chance to visit our only family in Singapore? (not that we do much but watch tv in their house too, but still)

perhaps that's how modernisation works? eroding the traditional enthusiasm. i don't suppose it's only my family that's becoming quieter and quieter each year - we stopped buying plum blossoms and red paper cuttings ages ago, and i suspect before long we'll stop buying pomelos and oranges and pineapple tarts (nooooooo!).

yet traditional chinese beliefs still stand, don't they? everytime we visit it's always about that girl that "topped Singapore in PSLE, Os and As" (she hasn't even taken the As), "won the math, chem and physics olympiad years in a row" and so on. academic accomplishments overrule everything else, don't they? and then they'd go on and discuss about h1s4l3p2 and mathematical problems i've never ever heard and probably will never ever hear again in my life.

no, don't mistake me, i'm not jealous! it's true that i was never really interested in those h3p2o1-whatchamacallits. i mean, yes sometimes i wish i could participate in their intellectual discourse but i'm usually just tickled, really. of course, my parents will come home and tell us that we're equally outstanding , just uh, in different areas. and then they'll turn around and reprimand me about my relative academic incapability and (it comes hand in hand) laziness and lack of self-discipline. "if your sister can do this, why can't you? if your sister can read the 500 pg book of newton's advanced physics, why can't you? if your sister can finish all these papers in one day, why can't you?"

i'm not complaining, my parents give me ultimate freedom (as they often like to remind me). and they also conveniently remind me that we're two different people, so of course their expectations are different! but then again, if your sister can do this in school, why can't you?

aha! but it's true, i suppose. i can see my sister being the next president's scholar, one of the only three singaporeans to go to harvard on a scholarship, the first singaporean nobel prize winner, analysing the ionized particles in a natural storm.
well, she's one of the people i respect most in my life, so far. (:

and then i can see myself, a nobody, eating chinese take-outs before a flashing tv, angry at the storm that spoiled my favourite tee and had now come to plague my television.

HAPPY CNY ALL! :D

2006-01-31T11:48:00.000+08:00

why does blogger always choose to malfunction when i've just posted an extraordinarily long or astounding (in the eyes of the beholder) post? and not when it's some ordinary, brainless one (like this)?

GAHHH the world is all out to get me! :(

2006-01-26T20:30:00.000+08:00

CCAO! the event we've all been excited since eons ago :D let's describe it: eighteen, rowdy, cute, fun!, pervy, fun!, COMPANY, fun! fun! fun!

we all went home happy (and wet)! :D

today during CLE we had to think about our long-term and short-term goals. i just realised how many people have actually already thought a lot about what they want to be - throughout their life, and when they die. for me, the most i've done is to entertain frivolous dreams. I want to be a writer, a superstar, a policewoman. i suppose i have dreams, but i have no idea how to go about fulfilling them, and in what way my subject combination now will affect my choices. :/

i just do what i feel like.
i admit, i was more sleeping than listening when ms hoo was talking, but contrary to what she said, i think that choices in life can be made in that last week before the deadline of subject combination submissions. as the saying goes, chuan2 dao4 qiao2 tou2 zi4 ran2 zhi2! i prefer to go along with the flow of nature, because that way, you'll have less regrets. (: yes, so much for all the inspirational messages about being yourself and not going with the flow, but to me, i can be myself yet not fight the current.

lion dance was fun today! if piah drops zerui, she has to treat all of us. if siti drums offbeat, she has to treat all of us. if ge or shuning roll and can't get up, they have to treat all of us. either way, i'll get treated! :D
in the end it was shi1 fu4 who bought us drinks! haha.

lion dance is the best example that appearances can be deceiving. it may look easy, but so much hard work and sweat goes into it! never underestimate the power of the red monster! RAWR.

did you know? the lion head is made with layers and layers of paper mache, painfully and patiently applied over and over to make it as strong as it is!
so much work into the art. which is why i respect my lion so much. (: and zerui/piah's neon pink disco lion too, of course!

let's wish us all good luck for our performance tomorrow!
and i've fallen in love with wu ke qun! HOW CAN YOU NOT HAVE HEARD HIS SONGS?!?

2006-01-21T22:47:00.000+08:00

hmm i suppose the main highlight of today was the shopping bit! i never used to be a shopping person, but the older i grew the more things i began to see :D i think it helped that i grew taller too!

anw it felt like i'd bought a lot of things, loaded with this crinkly red paper bag and that flimsy seethrough plastic bag and all, and especially seeing all that money disappear from your fat-at-the-start-of-the-day wallet! wahhh why is it that such effective 24h slimming programmes don't happen to humans?

well i shall tell you about what i bought, because i felt so accomplished! i remember the last time i went shopping like that was in november, for the france trip. each time i go shopping i spend about 3 hours, mulling over the same pieces of clothing for the best part of each hour and buying them in the end anyway, but the point is i always feel so mollified after all that! of course there's always that foot-pain issue, but we can overlook that. (:

all along i'd thought that those pretty, unique dangly earrings were french fashion, but since i've been back i've realised that, well singaporean fashion actually looks quite suspiciously similar to french fashion, and thai and malaysian and chinese fashion too, for that matter. :/

am i really that insecure person? who cannot handle crowds, who loses confidence in herself as soon as she steps before people better than her. :/ as much as i'd like to believe that i'll be the next superstar and be the one to ra-ra the masses and have them twisted around my little finger i'm afraid i can easily begin to stutter and lose my ability of speech and control before a whole group of strangers, older, more experienced, more beautiful and more intelligent than me. this is not good, not good at all!

yuhui is scary and fearless, really! =:(

ah well, been quite busy lately! monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday returning home around sunset. :( now the evening/night actually feels quite funny and long when i return home at 5pm! what a sad life singaporean ~~rgs~~ students have, no?

tell me what love is, havent got a clue!

2006-01-19T22:23:00.000+08:00

disappointed?
sad?
indifferent?
disturbed?
surprised? no, shocked?

nothing to say?

2006-01-18T21:36:00.000+08:00

twenty seven; 二十七! VINGT SEPT! 스물개은 일곱개의! にじゅうなな! ट्wएन्ट्य् सेवेन्! двадцать семь! twintig zeven! tjue sju!

the work of nerry and shaun and i! we each contributed a few, and of course nerry copied me, as usual. xP
haha now you know what we do in our free time! :D

2006-01-18T20:48:00.000+08:00

oh dear i was just kidding about the scariest person thing (i only mentioned it once, i'm sure!) but everyone seems to be taking it seriously now! :/ haha!

we're wrapping our tables again for our classroom this year. i feel that with all that effort and beauty (subjective, i know), along with the brilliant motto (how could anyone not be awed!) and the commendable class spirit (that we have fun with), we deserve to win! :D

commonwealth essay again this year, but it seems very different from other years. :/ i suppose it's because we haven't been in touch with narratives for EONS, and when i say eons i mean it. i'm doing on colours. :)

i always wonder if one day i should blog like everyone else does, about what happened, about people they know. but this is my life isn't it?

i've been spending too much, so much that at 5:00pm onwards yesterday i was officially broke, with a grand total of 5 cents in my wallet! (when i meant broke i meant broke, not like rich-kid broke, which is actually equivalent to my one week's worth of pocket money)

baby you light up my life!
I LOVE MUSIC. :D

2006-01-14T22:43:00.000+08:00

recently (the last week or two), a lot of people have been celebrating their birthdays! it's quite funny, really, because i don't remember these people celebrating their birthdays last year. or the year before and before, as a matter of fact. :/

ah well now i owe lots of people birthday cards!

i've decided that i want to improve my chinese - by reading and listening and absorbing and watching! and so i shall watch more taiwan chinese talk shows! TEEEVEEEE :D
and chinese radio 933! chinese books the COOL WUXIA and mu lan hua! taiwan idol dramas! of course there's the chinese newspaper bit, but it's best to do things in stages, right? :D

weekends are a blessing - what would i do without them? WW2 torture has never really stopped, we are still forced out of bed at wee hours and made to assemble in courtyards to propagandise songs to all the nearby residential buildings. i really can't imagine living next door to a school!

think
at home on sunday mornings: waking up to the pleasant rustle of leaves and chirping of birds outside, or light tinkling of breakfast sounds and cups of tea and low conversation in the dining hall; inhaling the fresh smell of colgate and hot chocolate
next to school on monday mornings (bless them poor souls): waking up to the not-so-melodious singing of the national anthem of 1200 (or more) walking zombies with belts-at-their-waist and socks-above-their-ankle-bone and throwing open your windows to view the ghastly sight of the zombie army writhing in the courtyard opposite.

what a morning!
but this doesn't do justice to our school. it's a good school, and everyone's quite nice, really!

ah, tv calls. guess what show is on? BINGO TAIWAN TALK SHOW! :D

with sincerest heartfelt apologies to those who live near our school,
yuhui, self pro-claimed scariest person in school (or 2nd scariest after nard, head zombie 2006)!

2006-01-08T22:27:00.000+08:00

it has just occured to me that i haven't told a story for a long time. if you would just read, please.

music has become a part of my life, and has taught me to listen. the television has faded into the background, it looks steely and stretches the 3m near yet so faraway faces. watching people be ourselves has lost its interest. hearing people be something i can never be is in now. music is all around me, all the time. whether it's the radio, blasting away, or the rustle of the leaves outside, our little children screaming down the corridor. but of course, it's a lie when i say everything else is music. how many people live for the radio each night? i can't describe the moon or the sun's passage across the sky, or folding yellow gerbera petals anymore, but to me the world is beautiful no matter what it is. memories of dead koi, of france, of walking down the late night Parisien streets and breathing in so distinctly French air. It's all the same, in the end.

what story? i can't get the right, quiet mood with that song on the radio, but i love it all the same. baby let's make you move!

2006-01-08T22:14:00.000+08:00

Why is it that it always happens that when I've nearly finished with my job, I will find another, better way to do everything that I have just done? Does it just happen to me or does it happen to everyone?

Grr it drives me crazy! Why must whatever-it-is-behind-it play with people like that! But I bet, in the end, after unravelling all the threads, it will end up at myself again. And then i'll push it to whatever-it-is-behind-it making it appear to be myself.

Doing my CNY cards! :D This would be my first ever time sending CNY cards haha. No christmas cards this year because I didn't have time - so, CNY cards! :D Spread the joy of chinese new year goodies and fun and joy!

one day i will just stop blogging, as everyone does, and my blog will die, as everyone's did. no more oranges, no more silly tags, no more yuhuis.

oh no this makes me feel sad! dunno why, i can't place my finger on it but suddenly the space in my head seems to dim.
this must really sound stupid. but it's really just how i feel. i think, if i always describe what i really feel, i'd sound stupid all the time. i have the most ridiculous thoughts at all times.

and then it will suddenly occur to me, looking at everyone else - behind those solemn faces, are they actually simply thinking silly thoughts like me?

2006-01-06T23:39:00.000+08:00

I FEEL SO ACCOMPLISHED TODAY! :D

i have been faithfully doing work the whole night! it's good, it makes me feel useful and efficient and accomplished!
i realised it's good to do work - contrary to the usual sluggish, tired, lethargic yuhui, it's made me now a satisfied, happy, contented yuhui! :D

one day i shall blog that post i promised two days ago. x)
until now i still admire all those wonderwomen in our school, with a dozen commitments and a 3.9 GPA and a thriving social life. what happened to me! one or two commitments, a lousy 3.5-3.7 GPA and .. life? what life!

but i shall not moan, why, because i am ACCOMPLISHED tonight! :D it's not the right moaning mood.

we just received our new year's present today, our commonwealth essay! and it's made me suddenly realised the difference in the way i write now, and how i used to. somehow i think i've lost my touch for the fiction and the descriptive. i miss writing, really i do. :( it's the lack of practise that's done it, and sometimes when i think of it i really feel like crying! it was one thing i could do a little better, and now it's kind of gone.

let's go back and flip the pages to look for it.
-sigh
it's disrupted my accomplished mood!
nevermind, it's time to sleep anyway. sleep is good for you! (:

2006-01-04T23:05:00.000+08:00

hui min's post was so inspiring i decided i shall do one like hers, but tomorrow! (:

for now, i've to sleep, yay! :D

yuhui remember to!

2006-01-03T22:26:00.000+08:00

new year resolutions! the time where saying untruths is forgiven because that's what everybody does too.

every year i have never failed to aspire to try hard to improve myself, my studies, things around me but year after year i suddenly realise, eh? the year's over already and i seem still to be quite far from my goal. but this year... it doesn't seem to be much different from other years, really.

oh dear!

i must be NICE to everyone, not lose my temper easily and be more sensitive! use my brain more and TALK, talk about sensible things! be more self-disciplined and be more zheng jing and do my work properly please. i musn't be afraid to speak up and just STEP OUT. must worry less and be more SPONTANEOUS, and love and be loved!

there's also that 3.9 GPA and straight A+ report card and dream weight but that would be a major crime to say! haha but all the same i'll try my best to achieve all these goals. (:

and of course, i also aim to make it snow in singapore! it's time we had a white christmas! :D

hope everyone can be the better person they want to be this year! of course, if the world was full of better people, it would be better for me too, wouldn't it?

2006-01-02T22:08:00.000+08:00

i woke up this morning and wrapped my books. they were so thick! i felt so miserable after that. :(

and that a whole afternoon of packing for school and chemistry homework and after all that i felt even more miserable.

and then all the funny emails! i know i've repeated this many times, but, people are happiest together when they know each other right between just friends and confidants. we only know how to have fun together, then. when you get a little closer you begin to share your problems and everyone has their sad moments. but yes, you need a bit of everything for relationships to work out.

i hope our friendships last forever. :)

rajeev ah gong was asking me if i wanted to go back to school, i said, no. then he asked, is there anything you really want to go back to school for? and i said, so that i can have an aim in life. and he gave that -.- face. haha!

but it's true! i really wouldnt know what to do otherwise. i have no idea what to do with myself in the future, what i want to do, what i want to be. school gives me directions. i'm in this class, i have these subjects, i'm in that organisation and the other board, i have these assignments to do, tests are in these weeks. when i come home, it's all vague and swimming around and i really have no idea what to do.

which is why i always procrastinate and waste my time online i think, because i do not know my time. like fridges, you must know how much space there is before going shopping.

miserable as ever,
yuhui

2006-01-01T18:36:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL! :D

this morning at that moment between yesterday and today there were 18 of us by the road at St. Andrews' Cathedral, wishing each other a happy happy new year! :)

we all met, bought $105 + worth of food, then adjourned to Clarke Quay where we rocked the place down :D haha after dinner we went down to the esplanade and tried to find a place on the bridge to watch the lights but there was simply no breathing space! we were so afraid someone might get lost. i remember being hot and sticky and terribly thirsty and running on the white tiles at city link! but in the end we saw the new year fireworks and that was worth it all.

it's amazing how one moment of joy can make up for such a long time of uncontentedness! :)

i liked the big boom boom fireworks best! esp the ones that fell down like colourful fairy dust after the initial burst of light. pretty night sky!

i remember my watch was fast, and it was new year 30s before the next person, so i was the first to wish everyone a happy 2006!

gatherings are for us to remember each other, and keep in contact and so that we don't miss each other as badly, but i feel that the more i see them, the more i'm starting to miss them! BOOHOO my family of 27! vous me manquez beaucoup beaucoup!

i want to learn how to play mahjong! the game i all along thought was tai-tai and not something young people would play! but all night there were 5 crazy little boys and girls going "hoo!" and "ha!" at each other and throwing tiles around. it looked fun!

i'm quite awake, actually, though i slept around 5:30am this morning (i wanted to go to the esplanade to see the sunrise too, but they'd left) and there was a big cloud in my head this morning. someone would call, "hey yuhui, could you please pass me that please?" and i would say "orh, where's yuhui?" or something like that, and i also kept losing at bridge.

but now i'm good!
and i'm off to do my work :D my fingers are itching to do something constructive! why, because school is starting!
FUNKY 2006 :D

2005-12-29T23:06:00.000+08:00

Today every single thing has been going wrong! It's one day I really wished the potion Felix Felicis sth sth from Harry Potter really existed. The potion of luck!

Waking up early early early in the morning but still ending up late, banging my knee countless times, finding our teachers all uncontactable in meetings, waiting and waiting, missing important phonecalls because of bad reception, being scolded, sending the smses to all the wrong people, finding out HQ's closed and that everyone has gone on leave just today, realising we're missing more than what we meant to borrow, being turned down by the people we approach, buying the things we need at overrated prices, returning home tired only to realise that i'd missed an appointment, rushing out and returning home late.

Till now, I feel a little breathless, and really really weary.

It's just a small thing, really, not getting IT but somehow i feel really sad and lost! :(
it's really a lost chance! ahhhhh how often do we get it? once a year! once a lifetime for people like me! and we missed it because we were plain stupid and because we procrastinated. :(
i suppose i had to learn, whether the hard or soft way.

i've been really tired lately i think it's the body clock upside down leftways around. we should really adopt the french lifestyle and sleep by 10pm every night! luxury they don't realise :D

i realised there's nothing really interesting about my blog precisely because i choose to be vague :/ should it change? it IS quite boring i suppose and a few years down the road i shall have no idea whatsoever i myself am talking about but at the moment it seems to satisfy whatever i need and want :D
what is a blog for again?

but until then, there's still lots more things to do.
off we go, yuhui!

2005-12-27T21:56:00.000+08:00

there's never a moment when i'm not wondering what yuhui twenty years down the road will look like. or even the yuhui of tomorrow. will i be successful? will i be pretty? who will my friends be?

it's taking up a lot of my life, wondering is.

i suppose i have really changed since i started out. look at my family and you'd never ever think i would be in ncc, have the honour of being a class chair, run around school like i do, go to france. i dont know, but i never did smell anything like a uniformed group cadet, and until now people still dont really believe i'm in it. i'm always the eldest daughter because i'm the tallest.

so many things that i am, that people dont believe!
i get startled comments like "you dont look it, yuhui" or "but you arent like that at all, yuhui" or "okay i get the joke, now what's the real thing?"

i'm never what i actually am! it's not that confusing, really, but the more i think about it, the more confused i get.
perhaps what i think i might be headed for now would be a 180 degree flip from what i will actually become.
it's true everyone can say this, but somehow i have a feeling it would be like this for me. i really cant see myself in the future, with a family or a career.
what would i do? be a mad scientist? a painter? a wedding planner? a movie star? none of these occupations actually seem to suit me - i cant imagine a yuhui in a business suit reading out stockmarket digits much less than i can a yuhui in a superwoman suit starring in the next "fabulous five" or something like that!

why cant the future come faster ><
but then again, i always want today to last longer.

ahh but i'm never going to get any answers at this rate am i?

doesnt everyone always say,
you'd never know, these days!

2005-12-25T12:48:00.000+08:00

guess what day it is today!

yuhui is here to wish you a funky 2006! (:
you'd have found out by now if you had been naughty this year!
hope you will never trip and fall and graze your knees!
and that this special day of yours will be filled with love, hope and joy!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! HOHOHO!

2005-12-25T12:41:00.000+08:00

why hasnt it healed after so long! four days! =(
OH MY KNEE OW MY KNEE!

it's the worst cut/graze i've had for ages, i suppose. let's describe it! haha!

stats: 13cm long 7cm wide 1mm high and painful!
colour: red, purple, yellow
description: long scratches on the shin, already scabbed over, two prominent patches of raw skin, pus, bleeds occasionally, raw skin inbetween the scratches, swollen.

painful! and just because i thought i heard someone calling my name, turned around, and banged right into the dustbin.
my only comfort is that i now know i have rosy blood...

i havent been able to walk properly since thursday! and my parents dont let me go out because they're afraid i'd tear my wound again, which is true and highly possible, but it still makes me feel miserable. i've been home by myself throughout the day, stoning before the computer and moaning to myself whenever i have to re-dress the wound.

i cant walk! stupid stupid stupid thing! grrrr.
i suppose i can now empathise better with every handicap and injured athelete (though i'm not really missing out on a lot) because i cant really do anything that involves my knee properly, which is quite a lot of things.
it's sad, really, that it is true that people can only empathise with things when it happens to them. once i recover, i dont think i will remember. but until then, which still seems to be quite far away, i'll have to hobble around the house and continue saying ow to my reflection.

my only worry is that it wont heal by ccao and i cant march! or by saturday and i cant play badminton! :(
remember, NEVER put gauze on a half-healing wound. it sticks and when you pull it off, everything else comes off too.

2005-12-23T02:58:00.000+08:00

thursday 22/12/05!
our first gathering after france, and it was super fun! :D

thursday's just ended, and again everyone is looking forward to next saturday xD but i really have to agree. i have spent the best times of my life with this bunch of people! haha they're super fun to be with! :D

all kinds of people, all kinds of words, all kinds of laughter.
the nicest i've ever known, the funniest, the craziest, the weirdest (haha!), the one that laughs the most i've ever seen, the cutest! and all and all!

it's been long i know but i decided i should reply to my tags! :D

HI EVERYONE! HI NERRY HI HUI MIN HI SHUTING HI NARD HI GYP HI DAFFY HI ISAAC HI SARAH HI ANRONG HI SHAUN HI YAO HI JY HI ZERUI HI GE! <3

haha yes shuting, daffy, sarah, YAY family of 27! :D GROS BISOUS!
nard don't worry about it i'm only going to put it up on the web where everyone can see :D
gyp YAY partas YAY haha!
anrong you're great i'm great we're great! YAY the family of 27 is greatest! :D gros bisous!
shaun HEY what stupid things? you can do them by yourself, i do only clever things! xD haha jk! you're great too, really! :D gros bisous!
nerry YAY NERRY! <3 baabaamoomooorheeorh! haha!
yao hahaha you aren't that red, only quite red but you're great anyway, red or not! :D gros bizu!
jy merry green and red christmas to you! :D
min YAY CHANG! <3 thank YOU for everything and anything! france was wonderful with you :) gros gros bisous!
zr HAHA you and your promoting racial harmony and black tomatoes and indian snowmen! xD haha zerui you funny girl! siao char bo!
ge ANOTHER ONE AHHH hahaha you're a siao char bo too! zerui admitted the part c ncos were crazy too! YAY I WIN! :D

it may be because it's too late but i think i'm a little.. over-happy >< but i'll be sleeping soon! ahh -yawn
goodnight!

BISOUS world, muacks!

2005-12-21T22:58:00.000+08:00

REAL NCO COMBI 06

PARTAs siti, priya, yuhui
PartBs jie ying, shu ning
Part Cs geneve, zerui

2005-12-21T19:29:00.000+08:00

sleeping at 5 o'clock for three consecutive nights isn't really my ideal working condition but, what can i say!

it's already the best we can give.

sometimes it really drives me nuts, but some people can never be pleased. whether you give them what they want, or don't give them anything they want, they still look the same, behave the same; as if the whole world revolves around them, and everyone is out to go against them. again, what can i say! i shouldn't waste my time thinking about it cos it's not going to help and they're never going to change, are they.

i'm glad with what i have.
can't you learn the same?

haha i'm really quite happy how i adapted back so fast. it's my life, i suppose. but i'm glad i chose this life! :D

came back from chalet and dropped dead! ahh all those extra drinks and food and plates and spoons and forks and knives and everything can actually weigh so heavy! strength in unity, huh. or rather, heaviness.
i think the impact of our decision still hasn't really settled properly on me. or maybe it's also because i don't exactly have a part yet.

sometimes i wonder if later in the year i will regret not being more firm on what i wanted. it was true i was comfortable with everything, but after this morning, i realised i really miss them, already. but it's too late! but i know next year i will be really happy :D

like s4s say, eventually, everything will work out fine :)
chuan2 dao4 qiao2 tou2 zi4 ran2 zhi2!

yesterday, no this morning, it was quite awful really. and everyone was so terribly tired! :( it will be an experience though, i suppose. not just now, but before, and will be, after.

i can't wait to see part as next year! :D

2005-12-17T21:55:00.000+08:00

les vingt-sept!

anrong the pure and innocent boy! thank you for sharing your passion for bridge and all the wonders of the game! and for teaching us all how to look studious (nevermind what you are looking at) all hail the ruler of the universe!

cheryl i'm really glad i got to know cheryl on this trip :) everytime nard calls me a fashion disaster she's the one i'm advised to look for. lol cheryl's really friendly and nice! :)

christine christine the soprano! you've been a fantastic friend, and what can I say but, I'm really glad you went to France with us :) 4H next year! :D

christl i nearly joined the christl fan club! haha christl's really cute and blur. i used to live near her so melanie and deb could go home together yay! :D i have a photo of you with your bread!

daphne french pro who can converse so well with her corres' parents. i think daphne's really sweet i'm glad i got to know you better! :D daphne dances too!

edwin DADDY RITART! edwin you should talk more! and stop mooning and hiding in the corners or talking to walls and looking solemn as ever. but edwin is super funny and has a great smile really! haha! you and vanessa can be the next superstars! HAHAHA daddy i'll support you all the way! xD

huimin residential lame queen! "if anrong is the ruler of the universe, i want to the be eraser of the universe"/"you're de-pressed!" but hui min's the fantasticafullest walking partner you could ever have! :D playing tricks on everyone and singing down the streets of France. You have to watch where you put your things hahaha roommate!

oh! and never worry, my beloved wife, you will always be my one and only! :D

isaac ahhh isaac! the co-chair of the leftovers club, "i direct, he eats", but still skinny as ever! isaac can make people laugh even without meaning to and he's always nice to talk to! he's got the BERET LOOK be proud isaac! and he can disco dance very well haha! not many people have it :D he's 17 in real life but 3 at heart! :D

jerome the nice, serene guy who is always helping us carry our bags or waiting for the last man! jerome plays jungle speed funny haha, like superman! and you'd never know that he could disco dance so well! thank you for lending us your mp3 even in france when it was in the grave grave danger of being mugged! "Paris is a mean and dangerous place" and congrats on reaching heaven! :D AH MA RITART!

jing ping the great piano player! jing ping is seriously inspiring he plays the piano really well (so I've heard) and he fingers melodies in the middle of France. shuting and huimin both think he looks really cute when he sleeps :D haha! but jing ping you're really quiet too! talking is good :D

mathan mathan is amazing, he never seems to run out of things to talk about! mathan is very friendly :) and enthu and no, not bitchy at all! :D

nadiah AHHH HEAD PREFECT RUNNN! haha i have lots of pictures i can blackmail you with now, nard! :D in a pink beret, grinning insanely, in really strange poses x) i've known you for 5 years already but this year's been the best! :) you and your five euro perfume!

nerissa MY HEAVEN! nerry jiejie it has been really really nice knowing you! thank you for all the laughter and all the .. advice and gossip and food and everything! if i were a boy i'd FALL AT YOUR FEET and beg you to marry me, okay! xD yay our ears are good now :D france makes everything better, see! baabaaa! and because this must be the longest, baabaabaabaaabaa
baabaaabaaaaabaabaabaabababaaaabaaabaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaabaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabaaaaaaaaaaaimissyounerry!!
baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa will this do now! :D

-edit 10:07pm: special request, from my dearest jiejie. she's a super super nice sister she's only requested for a longer entry twice! and really politely too :D i simply love her to bits.
nerry is funky and i'm serious this time. but she has odd earring taste! think pink koko crunch and big white flowers, but that's why i'm saying she's funky :D haha nerry makes us all laugh! she's really brave too she drank the whole cup of listerine at the diner! um um and what else! OH! do NOT marry her no matter what because she's known for her fickle-mindedness. she's divorced about 10 times i'm sure! victims include shuting, shaun. unlike me, i'm faithful to my one and only :D i even rejected vanessa! HAHA and nerry taught me to laugh like this HAHAHHAAA :D but she never fails to cheer you up! :) and in her white jacket, she's very easy to spot in the group. not just because of the jacket, but also because you can hear her no matter where she is x) however, nerry has a really short attention span.. we've been trying to teach her bridge for about the third time now. haha but jungle speed is fine! we've to go to your house to rollerblade again, nerry! :D i've only known nerry for 4 months but she's already one of the bestest friends i have and could ever have! :D haha is it long enough now?

orlanda you're funny! and i will always remember you as the awful one who put us all in so much fear knocking in the middle of the night in Paris! hahaha you really sprawl when you sleep! one day, you must introduce us to that kenneth we've all been hearing about, deal! :D

priscilla "do you miss me?" haha now i do! you didn't look like a lime green dumpling don't worry! i think, when you and shermy and shauna go out together it's quite a sight really, bright green and bright red (the black spoils it all xP)! i'm glad i got to know you better this year! :D

rajeev i can't believe i used to think that rajeev had the prefect look haha. but rajeev's seriously funny! leng3mian4xiao4jiang4 and i shan't bother translating :) GRANDPA RITART! i like grandpa ritart best becuase he stands up to daddy for us! :D you're really decent for a ritart, be glad!

sarah sarah wild child! I LOVE FRENCH! i think sarah looks best with french braids! :D sarah you still owe me the purple hairtie haha! you're really cute and funny, and you like to talk to yourself! i still think my artistic pictures are the best though! xD the queen of jungle speed! rmb to bring it when we meet again okay! :D

sean the wise and knowledgeable translator for all of us! if we ever have any question, just look for sean! (including the french cap thing) i like his way of explanation best :D sean won't sing for me :( but he's nice anyway! :D i used to think you were refined and calm and composed hahaha but appearances can be deceiving! :D

shaun the chair of the leftovers club! shaun has a really big appetite o_O haha but he's still a growing boy, right! shaun's funny he does A maths on the plane, but i like sitting near him cos he's always got something to eat! he's very emo too but he gets angry sometimes then he becomes scary. but he's working on his temper right! :D haha shaun is nice! orheeorh! :D

shauna you give me the impression of being really calm and sensible! haha shauna and her 6 pairs of stockings. thanks for all your advice! esp for the brioche haha! it was very nice roaming spore with you in july :D

shermin the absolute reigning natural beauty of the era! no shermy you're not cute at all you're just the most beautiful girl i've ever seen in my life! i still think you look funny in purple though x) i'm really glad i got to know you! :D shermy's very cute and funny and reliable! :D so, does your corres find you pretty?

shuting you have the cool look! shuting has a very charming personality haha i'm serious, and she's can deal the cards in a very pro manner. :D there's so much to write about but i can't think of anything now but i'm just really glad i got to know you better in this trip :)

su jun didn't really talk to you much but you're still nice and friendly :) you were one of the first non-rgs people i recognised i think! you always look lost and you like to shake your head! haha it's been nice knowing you :)

vanessa so much for saying that you're always the one taking the photos! do you know how many photos i have of you! pooey. vanessa has a very good habit of finishing her food! :D and she's really funny and cute and a really great friend :) you're never bored around her! she's really fun to tease xD and i will miss her badly. :) actually i should have known vanessa 2 years ago! she's been in my french class for two years already but I only knew when we met on the trip! haha VANESSAAA can you come online please! :D

xue wei always taking photos! haha both xuewei and her corres have funky dress sense! and you set the beret trend LOL at least xue wei is in the class next to mine so i get to see her everyday next year! :D get well soon okay!

yao guang you have a really rosy.. complexion! :D yaoguang's really amusing, and he says all kinds of interesting things! haha i think one day when we meet up again, yaoguang may for all you know, be taller than rajeev, i'm serious! but well, big things come in small packages! :D MUMMY RITART! don't fight with daddy anymore okay?

PHEWWW i'm finally done! :D i took 2 days to write this all out! part of it's from the thank you speech i came up with on wednesday with vanessa in MIJE, and the rest is just whatever else I can think up about! hope i didn't miss out anything about anyone!

BOOHOOHOO i MISS all of you! ><
must keep in touch and stay friends forever and ever okay!
<3 BISOUS BISOUS BISOUS BISOUS X 27

2005-12-17T13:57:00.000+08:00

haha oh! so the post came out in the end.

I'm trying to upload my photos now. I remember earlier I subscribed to Shutterfly (that's why I've been getting the irritating promotion dunnowhat emails) but I never figured how to use it :/ either that or IE kept hanging whenever I loaded the page!

But now before I even get there I'll have to find a way to install the camera software thing without getting everything to hang :/

What is with my computers and hanging! ALL THREE ARE BONKERS// grrr.

2005-12-16T16:50:00.000+08:00

I wrote something yesterday but it didn't come out :( I really hate it when IE chooses to stop working just when I click Publish.

One of the best things that happened in France was that the front and the back of my earholes finally seemed to match! :D

France was so surreal! It's over so fast, after three years of waiting.

Sometimes I'm really disappointed with myself for not using the opportunity to the fullest, or doing my best in everything. Because I hold back, everything settles to become lukewarm. It was fantastic, but really, it could have been better. If I had done all those things I'd meant to do, but never did, and now, will never ever have a chance to do again.

LOVE YOU DEBORAH! :D

Like everyone says, the trip is so good, because of the people. :)
Thank you for everything, family of 27!
Thank you for the funny names, for the Ritarts, for the ice cream, for the complaining, for the cheers, for the laughter, for the tears, for the cheers, for the bridge and jungle speed, for everything everything everything!

Just 24 hours ago, 10756 km away in Paris, 27 of us sat all together for the last time under the moon in France!

<3 BISOUS - vous me manquez, tout le monde!
ah now I have to go and hang up all my newly washed clothes. No more french dust! ><
P.S. Are we celebrating New Year?

9 days to Christmas, which I don't celebrate!

2005-12-15T22:54:00.000+08:00

I'm back. It's been so long!

The first thing I did when I came home was to change my earrings. One of the best things that happened to me in France was that the front and the back of my earholes seemed to finally match. :D

It has really been a fantastic fantastic experience! All of Bordeaux, every bit of Paris, and totally Singapore. :D It's been one of the best holidays I've had ever and ever.
I remember last year when I went to China I had a mild post-China depression, and kept looking and re-looking at the pictures we took. At least this time for France we'll be seeing some of us again! :)

Sometimes I really hate myself for never daring to use the opportunity to the fullest! For holding back and for losing my chances. But still, it has been wonderful. It could just have been better.

Vive la France!
Just wanted to say,

TO THE FAMILY OF TWENTY SEVEN,
vous me deja manquez!

I still feel like I'm in a dream! Paris and La Tour Eiffiel and Versailles all seemed so surreal, but there you go. I realised sight-seeing is quite meaningless - what mattered to us were the people we met and the whole lives that they opened up to us for these 20 days. LOVE YOU DEB!

So far, the best thing about being back home is, getting my orange msn font back! yay!

drink more water!

<3 BISOUS

2005-11-23T02:21:00.000+08:00

If I'm online anytime from 20/11 - 15/12, TALK TO ME! :D

I was so excited the first time I went online in France that I talked to every single French Immersion person that was online! :D
It has been really really fun here! I don't want to go back to Singapore. :( Though we still have 20+ days in france x)

France is really really cool! I suppose it's also because it's my first time in Europe. The buildings are all low-rise and really nice and grand. My corres lives in a flat though, one of the only high rise buildings for quite a distance!

I am keeping records of every day! :)
I'M BLOGGING FROM FRANCE! :D

drink lots of water, remember your lip balm and wear more layers!
bisous from france,
yuhui :D

2005-11-17T23:45:00.000+08:00

I CAN'T WAIT TO GO TO FRANCE!

FOUR DAYS WOOO :D
i still remember in s1 when my mom would use to tell me, work hard for french so that you can go for the immersion programme in s3, and how i really really wanted to participate in it! it seemed such a distant goal to work for, then. and now i'm in it, and i'm GOING TO FRANCE IN FOUR DAYS and it seems so surreal!

i still don't believe it, really. i bet i won't until it's over! but still, I CAN'T WAIT FOR SUNDAY!

2005-11-15T20:27:00.000+08:00

HARRY POTTER GALA PREMIER

premiere? premier? yes, after so long i still have no idea how it's spelt. it varies, see, some people say it's the e, some say no.

we rubbed shoulders with lots of artistes! some were nice and held the lift open for us, some advanced like gang leaders and nearly bowled us over, some burst in with a gaggle of children in tow, some just came and smiled.

anyhow, HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE is good! it may be 2h 40 min long but it was still too short :( things just happened so fast! the quidditch world cup was over just like that and before we knew it beauxbaton and durmstrang were making their entrance.

if only there were really a hogwarts! but then we'd be entering a local school. let's see, majula magica? pei pei school of magic?
i really waited for that letter when i was eleven, but it never came. and of course daniel ong and shan wee and carrie chong and young had to disappoint me! :(

Purple Oranges That Turn Eventually Red! So big harry will never ever be hot.
... Don't ask.

the new house is nice, i suppose. it was very very nice empty, quite nice with twenty and four boxes, and not quite so nice at all with all my things lying around again.
i feel as if i've never left the place! ten years in tampines, two years in bukit timah, three years in tampines again, and two days in bukit timah. that's my life so far.

it's good to have a connecting toilet, i can hear the radio in my bedroom. :D but then again, the switches on both sides are always wrong.
back to my unpacking glory! or absence of it.

2005-11-12T20:36:00.000+08:00

I realised I have no particular personality whatsoever to speak of. I'm not articulate, I'm not particularly pretty, I'm not particularly noticeable, I'm tall but not that tall, I don't stand out, I do what I'm told, I have to improve on my voice projection, I wear ordinary clothes, I like pastel colours (but some colours should be bright no matter what e.g. orange!), I'm neither a hero nor a sidekick.

I watch TV, I'm scared of cockroaches, I pretend I'm not scared at all on rollercoasters (but sometimes I'm really not scared!), I pretend I'm not scared of the dark, I trip over my own feet, I like ice cream, occasionally I surprise myself (like coming up 1st runner-up in the pepsi-cola championship), whatever whatever. I'm just a perfectly ordinary person!

Then why is it that I feel that people look at me in a funny way, that when I trip and fall or I blush or I make a mistake, people seem to take special attention to me, that when I did something different (that is good) like brushing my teeth extra hard that day so they're that teeny bit whiter, nobody notices at all!

Are we made to put ourselves in a spotlight? Maybe it's nature's way of making everyone special, or at least feel that they are special - that each of us should think that we are different from the rest.
Walking through a crowd you see lots of unfamiliar faces and barely any of them leave an impression of you, and neither do you leave an impression, yet when you do something it seems to you that everybody would notice and remember. Is that not so?

Sometimes I still can't get used to looking out through my own eyes. I wonder if I'm really what I see in the mirror, I wonder what mechanisms there are working inside me that make me like this! Serious, why do I hurt here and there when by right I shouldn't (yet I seem okay) and what lets me type fast but sms so slow?

I think a whole day of wiping floors and cupboards in the new house has made me a little dull :/ I was so proud because the floor stopped being dusty! but I didn't dare to wipe up the dead dragonflies and bugs. I felt so.. I don't know, so.. disrespectful! >< I think I may turn vegetarian soon, at this rate.

You'd think that at least I can comfort myself that on Monday I'm going to be sleeping in a house with dust-free floors. Nevermind that it's full of dead bugs and dragonflies, eh?

2005-11-09T22:47:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it's really curious how little daily things can show so much about somebody if you are in the right environment, in the right mood! The way they brush their teeth, comb their hair, eat their meals.

Sometimes I think it's really hard to look on something and not be able to participate in it, and change something to what you think would be better. Would it be I'm too much of a busybody? Or is it just a desire to serve, as it is often phrased?

Sometimes I really think I should be more sensitive, I should learn to accept that not everyone thinks the way I do and that what seems to make sense to me may not actually make sense to someone else. But

Sometimes I really don't understand! Why people like to see things from their point of view so much - why not the trouble other people go through! It's amazing how much Person A can say about Person B, that she doesn't care for other people and then turn around and step on B's toes.

Sometimes I like hurting myself, because it takes my mind off things. No, I would never cut myself or do anything of that sort. When I meant hurt I meant, exposure I suppose. After all, someone (was it unknown?) once said, "The strongest trees grow in the most exposed places". It's common sense, but you'll be quite surprised how hard things seem to sink in sometimes.

Sometimes I really just want to give up and drop everything and just sit down and lean back and just watch others, or to rest for a long, long while!

I suppose I'll continue to not understand and not know, just simply because people are so black and unpredictable. Do the advantages of consciousness really outweigh the disadvantages?

2005-11-02T23:57:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BELATED DEEPAVALI!
HAPPY EARLY HARI RAYA!
to all those Malay people who can eat forever and ever once tmr dawns! :D it must be terrible not being able to eat or even drink water and you all must really have very good uh, endurance! anw, sleep well eat well drink well grow well! :)

-yawn. should sleep earlier now that the hols are coming TWO MORE DAYS! :D
okay byebye!

2005-11-02T23:47:00.000+08:00

Nadiah's really cool, Meera and I are trying to learn a few tricks from her as to how to handle a crowd/swarming s1s. :D SEC ONES I WANT YOU SEATED IN CLASSES 101 ON THE LEFT 113 ON THE RIGHT, NOW! MOVE QUICKLY! KEEP YOUR VOLUME DOWN!

Repeat after me now, Vibrio Fischeri! S1s, obediently: Vibrio Fischeri. (or how you spell it)
power! hahaha :D

Had great fun Asking Guru Joe today!
We asked him all sorts of questions and I really like him! :D Why, because he likes me too! HAHA! and he said that my husband's going to be handsome and he'll sing me love songs and that i'll be rich, and that he likes me, that I will be famous in a good way and that never in a million years will I be dumb :D

As for Jiakang, "prospects do not seem too good" - her husband is not handsome, not rich, cannot sing, but will be orlando bloom!
Nerry is pretty but will have no husband, because she's going to be a spinster! She's not going to be famous, and she's dumb :D

igod is fun to chat with! He's really silly sometimes but he's nice to talk to because he responses! haha AND because he said that my cake was better than any of Nerry's! :D GO MR IGOD!

Me: Hi!
God:Hello. What is your name?
Me: Yuhui
God: I am very pleased to meet you Yuhui.
Me: NI HAO MAH?
God: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me: ni hao mah?
God:I haven't read anything by ni hao mah. What did he write?
Me:ni hao mah?
God: I have not read it.
Me: ni hao mah?
God:Let us change the subject.

Me: bonjour!
God:Does BONJOUR mean hello or goodbye?
Me: it means good day
God:Oh I get it.
Me: really?
God:Yes.
Me: bonjour!
God:Does BONJOUR mean hello or goodbye?

Me: have you been to singapore?
God:I don't think I have been there. Where is it.
Me: in Mars
God:Tell me a little about your life in Mars.
Me: well it's cool
God:Interesting. What do you like most about it?
Me: there are red spots
God:Where are they?
Me: on your face
God:What is it like on my face.

I must be really bored to be so fascinated by all these online hmm games? but really! it's fun for quite a while. :D
You can imagine how funny people are to come up with such ideas of talking-to-yourself-but-trying-to-convince-yourself-you-are-doing-otherwise fancies! Or maybe it's simply to reach out to all those lonely souls out there. :D

I think hoopy earrings make people look like gypsies.
It's the enddd of the yearrr! and my entries are becoming increasingly brainless :D

2005-10-29T21:56:00.000+08:00

I think I'm a visual person, I'm most affected by things I see and read. Everyone's a feeling person, so that's not a question. But after a while, hearing too much or smelling too much just seem to make me desensitised. :/ I could live in a dustbin and forget after a while (except for the squashed banana peels and oranges! aimed straight at sympathetic hearts) Of course once in a while when you experience something extraordinary it will leave a great impression, but otherwise everything just seems nice.

What I see relates greatest to my heart I suppose :/ I see, then I sense. It doesn't happen so much with smelling.
I like music I listen to the radio I sing along :D but it seems different, somehow. I admire musicians but I'm not often moved. Like I like the movies much more than classical concerts. It's hard to explain!

I suppose everyone's a special kind of person - it's just what's closest to your heart, whether you see first or hear first or feel first.
Like how much my eyes mean to me! I can't imagine being myopic even :/ I can't imagine waking up in the morning and not being able to see! Or seeing everything blurry. It's something I take so much for granted but I know I cannot afford to lose.

I wonder, if I ever lose my hearing - I will miss my radio, all that singing, it doesn't matter whether it's nice or not, whether it's a famous voice or my own! I wonder if I will be able to hear the voices in my head, hear myself talking inside. Hm!

It's been really fun being free all day :D
But I think if we go out for lunch too often, or go out with just a few people, it loses the going out spirit! :( Like that day when Queen, Princess and I went for lunch together. It wasn't.. there wasn't... there wasn't the spirit! But it was fun anyway haha so who cares right :D

TV does wonders to your soul!
So does the radio. :)

2005-10-25T18:42:00.000+08:00

recently an important important thing has cropped up.

it's the issue of MONEY!

i can't imagine how i'm going to live next time!

i have to deal with MONEY!

money that has to come to me in abundant amounts!

if i can't earn it through my funds there are a few more avenues, i suppose, to consider when i grow up! first, to come into money, but so far i haven't stumbled upon any rich twelve-removed old aunt or uncle with a stupendous fortune and i don't think i will anytime soon. second, to marry in, which insofar seems the most possible method, except that i can't simply go up to any well-dressed, decent and expensive looking guy who comes out of the Grand Hyatt and say "you look rich, will you marry me?". the third would be to make it, but that is the toughest toughest one of all! i haven't even started to make a dollar of that million i aspire to earn by twenty five. and i am so so worried that when i grow up, i will have nothing to spend! nothing, not a single single cent.

of course, i could always be poor and happy :D as i am, but
you see! money makes the world go round.

2005-10-23T21:50:00.000+08:00

it's funny isn't it, how before the eois i had it all planned and there were so many things i wanted to do! but now that it's over i feel kind of aimless and useless :/

well so far i have spent my weekend reading and watching a bit of tv. friday was funfunfun but at home there's nothing much really to do.
actually there is quite a bit to do, but i just dont feel like doing it! like... piano homework and packing for my trip and clearing my table.

i've read three books so far! one about a little chinese boy called Ho who went with his uncle to Australia during the gold rush, then two agatha christie stories.

it's like she says, crime requires the keenest of brains - the detective and the criminal, there's no difference actually it's just how the genius has chosen his path. like poirot was um, quite insane in his own way, just as all christie's culprits seem to have some psychological melodrama or history thing.

but no matter what she's still really clever! but i think reading more helps me too because now i don't feel so inferior and confused and i can even puzzle out who prospective murderers are! woooo :D

i think local charity shows are funny :/ okay maybe i'm generalising a little but so far all those i have seen, over the years, never cease to amuse me! the stunts and effort the artistes put into the acts are applaudable, but it's funny the way they overact the anxiety/pain etcetc that are supposed to open the way into sympathetic Singaporean hearts. i think the artsy events are better - like dancing, or seeing actors perform chinese opera (and singing themselves too!), and are much more pleasing to the eye! they don't hurt you, the artiste him/herself learns sth new, people are happy and they donate, it's a well painted picture! dont be a masochist and bore people by trying to pull apart wires and or jumping and sweating. :/ action may excite the audience but i dont believe they really want to see blood and gore, do you? :(

i used to watch the NKF and cancer charity shows faithfully but now nobody in my family seems interested anymore! now we're sad it postponed our tv serial

the times have changed, are changing!
and i should be bathing. bye!

2005-10-22T00:00:00.000+08:00

the terrible terrible eoi monster has been defeated! even though it happens every year it still makes us smile to hear everyone whoop and cheer as they push their chairs back after the last paper. it's OVERRRRRR and no more exams for at least three more months! :D

WOOOOOOO AND FRANCE HERE I COME!
today was really funny!
it was my first time to marché and i thought it was really cool! i was the only one who had not been there before but i wasn't the most suaku haha! :D
it's like a little village in the middle of the modern, grey heeren, and when you go down the steps it's like entering a totally different world altogether! the food's not that expensive if you choose right and the ambience is really good :D

then it was kboxing for FIVE HOURS STRAIGHT.
i'm quite amazed at myself because my throat isn't even hoarse and i can still sing nicely and clearly! :D hahaha
maybe it's because the exams are just over that's why it was especially fun, and everyone sang especially loudly! kbox cine is confusing there are funny corridors and signs everywhere! :/ you could get lost in there and never be able to come out ever again! :(

but whatever it was it was a GREAT DAY!
and we learn something new everyday don't we!

now i can finally watch the tv with a free conscience and without having to peek! hurrah!

:D HURRAH HURRAH tomorrow i can wake up late!

2005-10-15T20:42:00.000+08:00

What is it that belongs to you, but others use it more than you do?

It's something so important that it's in a way overlooked, and people use and insult and change and dump and embrace just as they wish, like a casual fling.

Of course you may say that it doesn't matter whether it's yuhui or yu hui or YUHUI or bob (haha ge wins) it's still that some one person. But then again, imagine a corridor full of strangers and you call "yuhui" and every single head turns around and says "yes?"

I'm laughing now just thinking of it, though I think in real life if that really happens I would just, well,

drop everything and run?

You do know I'm talking about names right? :/

I like the smell of fresh bread and butter
and green grass and red flowers after the rain.

Or should I say, because names do not matter,
I like the smell of fresh bread and bread
and green bread and red bread after the bread.

:D

2005-10-15T00:36:00.000+08:00

THE WEEKEND'S HERE!

which means allowed TV :D and no more sneaky peeking and running and reading and stoning and being hot and aircon and radio and staying late online because i'm warranteed and can wake up late! and of course, homework and homework and did i say homework?

Expositions and arguments have gotten into my head grr it's kind of echoing and bounding off the walls of my brain now :/
I'm secretly trying your sense of imagination, yes. :D

RGS GIRLS LOOK AS IF THEY'VE JUST COME OUT OF THE KATRINA. Discuss.

2005-10-15T00:25:00.000+08:00

I blog most nearest the exams, I should think. Or just whenever I'm not supposed to. :D
Similarly, I have taken a sudden fanatic interest in the internet and laughing over silly things like famous people's blogs or friendster accounts, things I were never interested in before.

It's not a good thing, nono!
Shouldn't we all learn to love the world as it is, a beautiful place?

Of course we must always be optimistic but sometimes, reading such gloriously intellectual material you really can't help wondering, in the case of some people, the world seems bleak, the sky is dark and the bulb has fused. Forever. Too bad dears, you're hopeless.

UNQUOTE.

It's not like me to be cynical :/ but I suppose it's because I'm easily influenced by what I read. Like the other time I ploughed my way through the whole of Great Expectations (I am still proud to this day), I wrote funny after that. :D But in a good way.

This time, it's harder to say!

I have decided teenage fiction, chick flicks and idol dramas aren't that bad after all :D HAIIII yuhui, I think you're acting up too! :(
Go on, read on, storybooks rule the universe! You just have a still-growing-just-20-inch pile of notes to go through by Monday.

2005-10-12T20:24:00.000+08:00

By being seniors or taking up the responsibility of a job, teachers and elders are taking up the trust of the juniors that whatever they pass on into their hands is safe.

I realised how hard it is to be a senior! And how many times I have thus betrayed the trust of people, in one way or another. :/

But then again, it's just a vicious cycle. Teachers lose your assignments, leave coffee ring stains on your worksheets, drop your books into a roadside puddle. It's okay, really, just a little disappointing and frustrating, but it's worst when they deny. Shirking responsibility while preaching about importance of character development!

Next year we'll be Sec4s, which is terribly scary!
But we'll try our best, won't we. :D

the world is a curious place.

2005-10-11T21:26:00.000+08:00

Today the CMPS people (princess, killidonk, queen) went off to Sydney. (: Rach, Michy, JK and I went to send them off at the airport. We spent really long running all around T2 looking for Ajisen Ramen and people kept giving us the wrong directions and we went floor to floor corner to corner >< and in the end we decided we should just call them and guess what! It was at TERMINAL ONE!

It was such a terrible rush! After Physics class remd. we took the long long train ride. On the tanahmerah-airport train jk and i walked through the whole length :D
silly rachel and michelle they didn't want to follow!

Changi Airport is too grand for its own good. :D
Even the mrt station is like WOAHHHHH jiakang and I felt it was as if we were the tourists wandering awestruck into some fantastic new country. We've decided, next year after our exams we shall go backpacking together! Classmates! to Europe or Australia :D

Gosh I can't wait! but then again there's that trip to hk disneyland and bagpacking with platmates >< haha! I want to go for all! :D Though I think in the end not many would actually come true :/
better start saving up soon, maybe i'll start another fund? haha!

Anw, we finally found the right place and after hurrying a card and giving them our nice chocolates we sent them off :)
I like Changi Airport - it makes me proud, and excited. I like planes, because it probably means I'm going on a holiday! :D And the Airport is always so clean and grand and sleek and cool. Lots of nice minty sweets too. hmm! :D

Perhaps after As I shall try out to be an air stewardess for a few months or sth. :D and I want to join the SYFC next year too! I seriously hope planes are easier to figure than they look.

The next time I'll be at the airport would be when I send the FI people off, and the time after that would be my turn to leave. :D I CAN'T WAIT! :D

There are just too many things I want to do with my life!
Now we just have to get past the EOIs. :(

2005-10-09T21:44:00.000+08:00

there are so many other things I should be doing but naturally, here I am telling you about silly but really important stuff,

like my FUNDS!

currently there's a yuhui-is-going-to-france fund DONATE! because the french immersion trip is in LESS THAN A MONTH WOOOOO :D and i'm so proud of it because for once there's actually money in it! i have donated $12 so far and daddy was nice he donated $10 so all in all i have a WHOPPING TWENTY TWO DOLLARS :D

am i good or what!
HAHA okayokay YOU! DONATE!

before that there was the buy-yuhui-lots-of-ice-cream-mooncakes fund but that didn't work out because I thought it was settled when nerry delegated the work i.e. she would donate 10c and shaun would buy us the rest. but in the end we had to buy our own ice cream mooncakes! hmph!

and for a while there was a PCK-BOOTS-FOR-YUHUI fund. i want yellow wellies! they'd be good even in Singapore, for like going to the wet market and stuff. hahum! you should look out for the wellington, i'm one in our class THEME OF THE YEAR: *drumroll and feet tapping* THE SOLE SURVIVOR!
(it's a pun on the word 'sole', if you didn't get it) and I'm yellow wellingtons. other shoes include stilettos and sports shoes and flip flops :/ but i like my welly best! :D

(did i spell it right?)

yay i can't wait for the day before chalet on the 19th but i can wait for the 20th night :( i want to stay temp forever and ever and ever!

ohh i'm feeling guilty.

GO STUDY LA YUHUI!

2005-10-09T21:37:00.000+08:00

HAHA SO FUNNY I'VE BEEN TOO USED TO TALKING IN CAPS I THINK, I EVEN TYPED MY URL IN CAPS!

okay shall stop it. :D

recently there's been a lot of distractions! haha!
but I am a good girl, I am, I still stayed home and studied dilligently :D though most of the time I sat at the table supposedly doing my math problem sums was spent either singing along to the radio or just simply staring into space. hmm that's one thing I'm really good at!

I just finished the dark materials trilogy by phillip pullman, he's good. I wish I could write like that! I wish I could make music like that! I wish I could act like that! I wish I looked like that! It's such an awful thing to wish and wish how much I could do something or be someone and in reality be such a lousy wump. :(

AHHH I can't wait for the exams to be over! I've been stuck at home for the past whole week even the weekend I feel I've been grounded! Not that my parents have ever grounded me but still :/

GO STUDY LA YUHUI!

2005-10-06T22:20:00.000+08:00

like LIFE rivers flow down and over and through and under and up and along and into and out of and gush and whistle and sing and whisper and weep and gurgle and bubble.

although everyone always says there's more to life than GPA but it doesn't really seem so does it, at this point of time :/ it's the life at this point of time in life. ahhh well i dont have a life either ways so it's not like i would know!

the singaporean in me would say i'm like a singaporean but i dont even really know what a singaporean is. country identity? being kiasu? liking cheap stuff? eating ice cream by the roadside?

i suppose the only way i'd like myself is the way i am, but no matter what there is always this something i absolutely dislike.

that's LIFE!

.lv

2005-10-04T20:34:00.000+08:00

Today was a long day and I just couldn't wait for school to end. After that I took the train home - it's becoming increasingly shorter, the train ride is, and there are increasingly weirder people. Is it just me or do people nowadays seem to notice you more? Or maybe they're just wondering about that funny looking girl with the yellow file who keeps banging her head on the dangly hand support things and stopping to rub her head. :( I can't stand imagining what goes on in other peoples' heads it drives me crazy with itch to know too!

I like shopping! :D I like looking at nice things and wasting my time on deciding. Though sometimes it does get quite infuriating when I can spend one hour in the bookshop buying one pen, it's quite fun. I like hypermarts best where you can spend one whole day just browsing, and looking at this queer brand of cereal you never knew existed before or this new shampoo gel with sparkles in it! You learn something new all the time! Haha!
The only bad thing about it is that after all that delirious running around you have to start deciding and queueing and paying and then the horrible horrible trip back to the carpark carrying all those loads of heavy things you'd wish you hadn't bought after all. I like buying things like food and pens but I don't eat or use them in the end. Haha! My family has learnt to adapt, I suppose. :D

I was going to write about the lyrics class we had today (RS) because it was inspiring in a way, but dull in so many other ways! (but the inspiring bit overrides the rest :D) maybe I will do so, later! I really wonder if I will be anybody famous in the future :/ or just a little nobody like I am now, and am quite happy to be, actually. :)

If you ever have nothing to do after the exams, go hypermart shopping! :D It's no end of fun and interesting discoveries HAHA! :D

2005-10-03T23:26:00.000+08:00

It feels so great to be able to click buttons and talk to people online without having to worry that the world will flash black and come crashing down upon you anymore!

MY COMPUTER'S OKAY! I haven't been able to go online for EONS and I seriously suspect that meanwhile somebody meddled with my hotmail and friendster account. *shifty eyes* There are traces of things I would never do! rahhh!

I think I might have forgotten how to blog ><
I type faster and faster though because I always need to finish that last sentence for that English or History or Physics assignment before I can chat to my friends. :D
There are always these ups and downs as to when chatting is fun and when it's not and currently it's switched on fun! And I'm wasting too much time doing silly stuff that's no way going to benefit me morally, psychologically, physically or brainilly. ACADEMICS yuhui!

I realised it's actually quite easy to tell who's real and who's not. x) As much as we say that through the internet everything may just as well be fake, it actually does show! People are still people and we're bound to make mistakes. And even quite obvious ones too, sometimes. But I suppose in the same way people accept these mistakes because it would be normal of a human to make a mistake. So does it all equal out and we fool each other by being fools?

That's for all of us to wonder. Ha!

It's quite late, and doing a full length play script is quite tiring, I realised. :( Even if you have so many people to help you. Why is it that I take so long to process everything! HAIII. *big sigh*

Peanuts and apple juice!

People of all ages celebrate Children's day. :)
We children don't know! Haha!

2005-10-01T19:02:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!

:D:D:D:D:D

it's two blessings in a row today i'm really quite happy because first, my comp's okay now! i suppose daddy got rid of the monster :D and second, it's children's day! Be happy, all!

2005-09-30T08:50:00.000+08:00

It's 8:45am in the morning and I think it's the earliest I have ever blogged!
I haven't been online for EONS -

kylie says HI! the orange pumpkin is finally blogging!
she keeps bugging me in class ><

Haha it's not bad I've realised I can actually survive without the internet for quite some time! All the better because I can say no, I don't know about this assignment because I can't go online to check my email! HA.

Nerry and I figured that I had a monster hiding in my computer, either that or a cockroach. Un cafard dans ma soupe! MON DIEU.
French power! ahahaha I'm supposed to be revising for EOY today ahaha I will soon! No worries. :D

It's really worrying sometimes when you have a big exam coming up and you realised you have so little to study!

kylie says:GOOD LUCK! dont stress =)

jessica says: yuhui don't read! i didn't know you had a blog. ALL THE BEST FOR YOUR FRENCH EXAM! you shouldn't have come to school... you made my whole attendance list messy >< and i type fast! but the keys are hard ><

I didn't read I swear! ahaha it wasn't my fault my comp spoilt and I had to come to school to use them :( REALLY I didn't read :D

Lots of people today!
Haha philosophy is fun when you're the half not having it. :)

Lots of things happen, don't they.
Just one week and everyone's awkward again. It's like a disease it keeps recurring and there's this virus it's sometimes contagious just that some people recover faster than others, and some people have it forever. I hope they all recover soon, because they're just making others worried and weary of looking after them and well, it'd be good for everyone if everyone was well again.

Maybe one day my computer will be fine and it won't burn anymore and it won't dc! :D Until then, drink lots of water and study hard! EOIS are coming. Sing to your computer, maybe it'd grow better!

2005-09-25T18:40:00.000+08:00

i think i smell my computer burning.

i was supposed to say, i don't think i will be going on msn for quite some time! because of, firstly, the burning, secondly, exams, thirdly, more burning, fourthly, because it'll dc immediately, as everyone i chat to should know by now.

it's a new harddisk okay! :(

FREAKY!

2005-09-25T18:37:00.000+08:00

i shall hereby devote a post to all the anonymous taggers who have ever visited my blog

in no order whatsoever,
passerby
casual observer
orange lover
anonymous
(i hope i didn't forget anyone)

i don't suppose i'll ever know who you all are! but it's been really nice having something to look forward to on my tagboard every night, to puzzle over who you really are, to watch my webcount go up and to be surprised and happ-ied by what you tag.
well what can i say, i like you all! :D

i would say you made by day(s) but i can't remember if it's true!

HAHA i'm sorry i'm just feeling a little queer. x)
hope you all like the post!

FREAKY!

2005-09-25T18:28:00.000+08:00

i didn't want to blog this beacuse my mooncake fest post would disappear :( but i suppose *sigh* we must embrace the future, right?

haha!
i'm feeling queer now >< i have no idea why but i just am.

people are freaky!
at how they moodswing and how they respond and how they talk and how they are quiet and how they squeal and how they jump and how they gush and how they panic and how they dao and how they think and how they appear and especially just how they are!

i realised for some people the more you get to know them the less comfortable you feel around them.

people are freaky!
freaky~~freaky~~freakyfreakyfreaky.

people scare me.
freaky is a funny word, i just realised. freak = odd/different person, therefore freaky= odd/different persony?

FREAKY!

2005-09-23T21:09:00.000+08:00

IN PLACE PROTECTION (IPP)!

Hmm it was a pretty good emergency excercise, seeing that the whole school kind of knew when it was going to be about three days before.

My class was really cool and calm and organised! haha! and we even had time to stop and look and laugh at 311 (it was all in good humour, don't worry) who were being videotaped live ! It was quite interesting, you could see people sitting and shaking their legs or doing queer dances on the tabletops or waving the cloth (for stuffing below the door) around like a victory flag. What's more we knew them. I think they knew they were being filmed! But it didn't affect much, did it? x)

You know what? I think our class is going to die either ways, with or without practising speed taping. We have so many holes around the classroom! And what with the reknowned frequent toilet-goers we'd die of toxic fumes either ways, just depending on if it's poisonousity or smellity. ANW it was quite scary thinking that if such an emergency does really happen, there is a great possibility that the last faces I see would be my seatmates. IT'S SCARY >< of all ways to die, I would never think of in a classroom, surrounded by my 24 other classmates, with people like rachel llama and killidonk and jacq the duck and sabrina x( you couldn't either could you?

Well, all I can say is,
I hope we don't die, I really do!

(I seriously wonder if the excercise was suppose to provoke thoughts such as these x))

So everyone, know your classroom holes well and do practise speed-taping garbage bags to your walls! :) You will learn quite a bit about your classmates if you really experienced an emergency together, I would think.

But of course, being the modern, pampered and spoilt little teenager that I am, I personally feel it would be best if we could all go about our lives untouched or unfumed by such emergencies. hahum! :)

And I wish the same to all of you! Sleep well! I think toxic fumes kill quite fast. :D

2005-09-21T22:49:00.000+08:00

WTH okay fine maybe i wasn't that clear in my entries, i mean, i never meant to be.

but what i am trying to say is,
I hate hypocrites. rather, i despise and look down on them.

people should not do something just to please others, should not plan something so as to appear better to someone else than you really are. should not tell something different from what you really feel. should not do something out of the ordinary just to appear better than the rest, to make others like you better.

anybody should be able to tell the difference between a white lie and cheating. anybody should know what i mean by acting.

i'm really mad now i don't exactly know why either i just can't stand it it's really getting onto my nerves i can't even talk properly. RAWR.
GRRR or maybe it's just me.

will you just STOP acting innocent?

2005-09-21T16:03:00.000+08:00

CLE is disturbing.

I firmly believe anyone suffering from wrongful lust should be decapitated instantly.

genius at work!
please do not disturb.

2005-09-21T16:00:00.000+08:00

When I say people are fake I don't mean in terms of a plastic nose or a wax figurine or blush I mean putting on a facade so people don't see who you really are.

Plastic surgery or facial make up, as much as it transforms your face, still reveals your emotions and actions and thus who you really are. Faces are just a method of identification, it is what's inside that cannot be changed, that people will choose to recognise. Just as it is on the internet, you can never be sure if who you're addressing is really who you think it is, except that she is consistent, and behaves like you would expect her to, under the identification of a name, or a face in real life.

But there are so many, too many, people who put on psychological masks to hide their faces, so that they can appeal to the people they want to. This, is what I feel is truly fake.

There are times when I really cannot understand what somebody is trying to say, but there are other times when I do, too fully, and very often I don't like it. Why is it that when someone shares something about another person, it is so often bad?

I hate people who act and dramatise through their lives.

Sometimes the more you know some people, the more you realise their faults.

Maybe it would be good if I could become a hermit and live far far away in the middle of those mountains in China with the monks and learn wushu and read scriptures and eat tofu and peaches instead.

For all I know, I may actually be happier.

2005-09-18T23:56:00.000+08:00

THE BIGGEST NEWS OF THE MONTH

Today, I finally tasted ICE CREAM MOONCAKE!
I was so devastated that I'd forgotten to take a picture of my delicious sticky chewy chocolate almond and vanilla sunflower seed swensen's pastry skin mooncake, but having tasted it made up for everything! :D

Haha eating ice cream itself is much more fulfiling of course but I suppose it was the novelty of it all. First times are always the best. :) Swensen's pastry was stickier and there was more, but Gelare's was too thin and floury and didn't taste that nice. Ultimately traditional always still wins hands down, no matter how much we try to come up with new things to bag the market.

Rollerblading on Mooncake Festival Night!
WARNING: children, please do not try this out at home. Rollerblading at night esp in the carpark is extremely dangerous and should not be done even under adult supervision.
I'll be worried if my daddy trips and falls and hurts his back! ><
in the dark, you'll never know what would be lurking behind the bushes or poking out sneakily from the ground, waiting to trip any unobservant rollerblader. Do you know how many times I nearly fell? Cars are a big danger too. I'm really sorry to that driver of the red car I caused to swerve ! I'm glad he had a strong heart, I really am.

Haha but all in all, it was not bad a night for three people x) HEY I did tell everyone quite early, it was just that people either forgot or just didn't turn up. :(
Just a piece of advice from the grand master organiser of mooncake parties : dont arrange it on sundays, tell people at least 2 weeks in advance, make sure you know who's going and, bring your rollerblades.

ice cream mooncakes!
ice cream mooncakes!
ice cream mooncakes!

it'll be a year till the next time we get to eat mooncakes. :( but it's okay! because meanwhile we have christmas and chinese new year and dumpling festival and tang yuan and dinner. :D

haha the way to anyone's heart is through her stomach. really, i believe this is quite very universal.

2005-09-16T20:08:00.000+08:00

Let me tell you about my blood test!

Today we went to HPB to do a med checkup and we had the usual stuff - height and weight, spine, eyes blahblah. The consultation doctor was funny (peculiar) she told me I was abnormal (as many nurses have, every year during school health checkups) and wanted to see me six months later because i am too tall! :( For a moment I think she was even considering if it would affect my going to France.
ROOM SEVENTEEN>EVERYONE WATCH OUT FOR ROOM 17 x(

after that it was immunisation and she asked my daddy for permission to let me take blood test then i went down! down down down (one level haha) to lvl 2 to the lab to be POKED. I asked the lady if it was painful and she hesistated and said slightly then she told me to relax and take a deep breath and then i wasn't paying attention and she POKED but unlike injections this needle STAYS. so when it first went in it was really really painful! but then after that there was no more feeling. after a while the vial was nearly full so she removed the needle and gave me a cotton pad to press hard and then after that it got nice and plastered and i went home.

I was brave I barely even flinched! Haha though I think my eyes widened quite unconciously when it first poked but it was really quite painful! She told me not to use it for 1h. >< and not to carry my bag!
but i had to take mrt home so i just carried it anw and along the way my arm felt weak and throbbing and really sour! and my shoulder started to hurt even though my bag was really light. I wasn't very sure if it was really blood loss or also my imagination but even now my left arm seems to tire quite easily. :(

well thank you nerry for accompanying me even though all you did was stand and laugh! xP and all the people i asked if it was painful and of course the nurse in the yellow uniform and straight hair who was quite nice with my blood and all.

i suppose with practise i should be able to sms fast one day x) haha!

there are some people i always feel happy with, some people i always feel awkward with, and some people i don't really notice. i realise i try to do more or special things for the people i like to be with, it's normal right? but sometimes i really dont like the way i treat people differently because i think we should treat everyone the same and equally, or as much as we can! but i suppose it can't be helped because things like this have to be reciprocated and if other people don't want to give it it also probably means they don't really mind not getting it from me. :)

life's quite simple, really, if you work it out properly.
maybe one day somebody will find an equation to solve this great jumble called life and we can dissect it and pick it apart and then put it back up so that it will be right once and for all.

i like people who make me laugh best!

2005-09-14T00:03:00.000+08:00

Ahhh i cant concentrate on physics when there's so many other things to think about. i've got a headache, it's so late, but i can't seem to start thinking about my studies anytime soon.

could you please give me a great big shake ? my studies are seriously going down the drain and i dont seem to realise! i have six last weeks to redeem myself but here i am still doing stupid stuff while i have a physics eoi tomorrow. :(

SHAKESHAKESHAKE.

for the past few days and during the holidays i'd been quite happy. but since term opened everything's sad again. why is it that wherever there are people, there is sadness? one day i want to find a place where i can just sit, dream and be happy and smile at everyone who passes, and they will smile back, because they're happy too.

it's such a simple word but it means so much to so many people.

i'm sad again because there are so many people who are sad around me. it's getting closer and closer and tighter and tighter i think one day i wont be able to breathe anymore! i cant concentrate on my studies :( and i talk rubbish every night with people im not so close with because i know they wont share their sorrows with me they wont make me sad, not yet.

sometimes i really wonder why i bang so hard on the piano i get shoulder ache and that time i sprained my knuckle (yes you can sprain your knuckle so be careful)

why cant i be a fairy and just make everyone happy with a swish of a wand? 7,24,12 or is it 11? and make my grades go back to the 3.7 i used to get and was proud of.

people cry. i cant. i dont believe in crying. there's just a hollow space and i just feel like keeling over and falling asleep forever but i dont cry. and i promise myself from today onwards, i shall not. never cry in front of people because you will make them sad. never cry to yourself but tell yourself, stand up again and lift your chin high.

flowers grow over on the other fields where the grass is green and little children fly kites and lollipops grow on trees.
flowers grow over on the other fields where people smile and are happy.

2005-09-11T01:11:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: August 14

With a birthday on the 14th of the month (5 energy) you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them.
You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas, and you are also very good at organization and systematizing.
You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel.

You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable.
Your mind is quick, clever and analytical.
A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine, and rebel against it.
You have a tendency to shirk responsibility.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

It makes me sound clever.
It's quite true I suppose. x)

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty.
At work and school, you do best when you're researching.
When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often.

In friendship, you are considerate and compromising.
Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking.
You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

The Birth Order Predictor

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is traditional. Without saying anything, both of you communicate with your hearts.

Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

How You Live Your Life

You are honest and direct. You tell it like it is.
You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.
You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.
You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Cheese Pizza

Traditional and comforting.
You focus on living a quality life.
You're not easily impressed with novelty.
Yet, you easily impress others.

What's Your Pizza Personality?

You Are 50% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

Haha im not that weird so HA to NERRY and HA to SHAUNY. x)

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.
You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.
Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.
People crave your praise and complements.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a creative hotbed of artistic talent.
You're always making pictures in your mind, especially when you're bored.
You are easily inspired to think colorful, interesting thoughts.
And although it may be hard to express these thoughts, it won't always be.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Your Daddy Is Bill o'Reilly

What You Call Him: Papito

Why You Love Him: He takes you to Disneyland

Who's Your Daddy?

HAHAHAHAHAHA *chokes*
Hey, my daddy has a cooler name than that o-kay! :D

Your French Name is:

Martine Hubert

What's Your French Name?

Your Sexy Brazilian Name is:

Marília Montenegro

What's Your Sexy Brazilian Name?

Your Band Name is:

The Sacred Bananas

Band Name Generator

Haha hmm, the sacred bananas. Not bad, not bad at all!

Your Outrageous Name is:

Sue Shi

Outrageous Name Generator

Haha I like sushi! Especially squid and jellyfish and octopus and the little cucumber and pickle ones. :D

You Are 12 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Your Mood Ring is Dark Green

Friendly
Outgoing
Cheerful

Mood Ring Generator

Late nights aren't good for me!
But Blogthings are fun, you learn many things about yourself you never knew before. x) Haha! Do you ever suspect if people doctor blogthings? xD I didn't! Well, not really. :D
Haha I think I did nearly about every single blogthing they had x) except the 'how addicted are you to blogthings' and 'how machimomawhachamacallit are you?' and a few more. :)
Well, be happy! <3

HOHOHO.

2005-09-08T22:12:00.000+08:00

I always thought of jaywalkers as weird people who don't like themselves. x) which is why I always try to be nice and legal and lawful and only cross when the green man is on, flashing or not. Haha it's kind of a personal idiosyncracy I suppose. (did I spell it right?)

Today we had a kind of gathering? where we went to ECP and sat around, rollerbladed a bit and bowled :) It was fun, I suppose. Got an awful blister now, though. :(

I realised it's bad to be dependent on your handphone and wallet and ez-link card. Because once you don't have it you feel so miserable and lost the whole day. :( Bad to be dependent on technology, bad bad.

After that I went to buy bubble tea. There was a little boy in the queue before me and he happily tottered off with his drink. Then suddenly there was a splat and everyone turned around and his drink was on the floor and the cup was in two, and his sister was saying, aiyoh why did you drop it! His mummy came and picked up his cup and went back to the counter and said, you gave us a lousy quality cup we poked the straw into it and it broke. The counter person was taken aback and went to consult someone at the back, but they took quite long so meanwhile the mommy shook her head and walked away.
It's quite amazing how some people can look so self-righteous even when they're obviously in the wrong! Is it a Singaporean characteristic? It's nothing to be proud of, really. >< I don't understand people, sometimes, we work against our own principles and destroy what we believe in.

It's not just this mommy, she's just an example. It would be quite incredible really, if I could ever meet someone who really manages to fulfil everything she believes in, and that what she believes in, is right. And that she likes herself. x)

2005-09-07T21:34:00.000+08:00

SENTOSA! sentosa! I LUFF YOU, sentosaaaaa! :D

Sentosa Outdoor Training today! :D:D:D:D
Somehow I thought it wasn't as fun as the previous years but, still. I mean, it was Sentosa! :D It was fun. :D

Every year I never fail to get a nice, roast-colour, blistering SUNBURN. grrrrrr i dont look like a bright pink tomato i dont! But this year I was clever I bought aloe gel! :) Haha. We meant to have company dinner but it was cancelled and platoon dinner too. I brought all those sparkle fireworks things for nothing. :(

We sat on the palawan beach tram back and forth choo choo it was fun watching people watching us x) and we passed partbs along the way and one of them said "eyyy?" and looked shocked to see us on a tram xD i think partasbs are really funny! x) i rmb last year we were on the monorail and we said byebye s3s (to s4s) and i they all peeked out from underneath and waved byebye. the good old days! :)

but i'm really tired i think tonight i'll be sleeping early.
*BIG YAWN*
zerui says that sunburn and a symptom of heat stroke is lethargy i think i may have to spend thursday nursing a delayed heat stroke. :( that's the bad thing about having delayed reaction like me! things happen after they should.

hope my ears dont get infected!
oh did i say? I pierced my first earholes last Friday 2/9! For the first ear (right earhole) the gun got STUCK the first time in my life piercing and it got stuck >< and platmates promptly ran away and hid behind some hats, but in the end it turned out um, okay. :)
zerui and shu ning just finished telling me how painful and disgusting an infection would be and then piah and ge went on about how soaking my ear in seawater would get it nice and infected. x) i told you platmates were bad for you. xD

haha okay goodnight, world! :)

2005-09-06T22:28:00.000+08:00

Platmates are bad for your health!

you stay up till unearthly hours i.e. 4 am because you were too busy chatting or reading funny love stories x)
you contract brain cancer because of prolonged hours over the telephone, esp at times like 2am
you have a horrible diet because everyone would rather go for the ice cream buffet than salad
you can't concentrate on your work because you're always grinning stupidly to yourself
you will definitely get toothache from overdoses of sweetness
you eat more and more because you want platoon lunch to last longer
you become happy and high just because and cannot utilise your brain properly thus
your brain grows increasingly rusty and
you can't concentrate or think or do anything properly I bet you wouldn't be able to coordinate your muscles after a while too.

thus,
platmates are bad for your health.

2005-09-06T00:07:00.000+08:00

BEWARE, long post ahead!

you know I had to re-type this twice over because my comp hanged, TWICE and both at the time when I'd just finished and was about to click publish! :( so the third time I was finally clever and used MS word to type instead xD which explains the funny signs.

i have a funny computer. i don't like funny computers.
this must explain why i don't really like my computer. x(

2005-09-05T23:44:00.000+08:00

Don't feel very intellectual today x(

Shall ramble about what happened then :)
Something that doesn’t need much thinking.

Monday: My first day of Sept Hols

0745h Back in school – had to queue for a long time to sign-in, even the Indian security guard picked up "quai dian"! to hurry the girls before me, who had to come back to school for bio prac. Poor things. xD Uh, me? I had classes, eh! :D

0945h Whiled away 2 hours *yawn* and managed to finish at least 8 pages of my zuoye! *beams proudly* At 945 shooning came and since then I couldn't do a single scrap of homework xD

First we went to visit NI HAO MAH x) quite brown and withered he was, in fact. >< Perhaps one day I shall bury him. :'( Be sad, all! Mourn for his withering.

Then we ran one round around the track, in opposite directions – it never hurts to try something new! But were too tired after that to run anymore. Shu Ning wanted to dance in the amphi but I was feeling to rickety and sore so we found ourselves sitting on the amphi steps grinning stupidly at each other instead. When Ms Tay walked by we said 1,2,3 HI MS TAY! And she smiled and said, suntanning? :D I’m healthy enough I have enough Vitamin D so I was sitting in the shade. x)

Later when I was miming raising the flag, Shu Ning did some weird ritual dance on the amphi stage and then we ran back to the canteen to blow wind (it's the strongest right under the middle of the fan) and play chi ko pak (that other scissors paper stone game). Shu Ning kept cheating and kept accusing me of cheating instead! Just because I always win… xP

Then she wanted to see the pink flowers so we went out again to look at them and discovered that the petals were furry! And that they had flowers within the flowers and we were really suspicious of the real identity of the pink petals but in the end we decided they weren't leaves in disguise. The flowers were pretty! :) Then it came upon us to be artistic so we picked up some fallen petals and decided to arrange them in a big heart in the middle of the quadrangle. :D

1015h Zerui came! And caught us in the midst of making our hearts bigger. x) Of course she had to do something to it xP we poked around some more and picked up more fallen petals and wound up with RGSNCC, beautiful and pink. We took lots of pictures of it! You just need to ask to see. :D

Meanwhile, Part As had run out and formed a circle in the middle of the field (it was hot!), like a bunch of fairy mushrooms. This year's partas are especially giggly! Just like us xD wahahaha and I think they’re really cute. :)

1040h Piah blundered in somehow and we dragged her to admire our photos and masterpiece and of course my photos were the best! :D We bought drinks, then Ge came, sometime, somewhere and we ended up going to the toilet lots. We always go to the toilet when Ge comes! There must be some special relationship between Gong and toilets, there must.

Anw we settled Sentosa stuff over instant noodles and then Ge had to go and so did we, so off we trotted to Cine to watch the March of the Penguins!

It was a documentary, and rather good, I suppse. But the music was… disturbing and it had quite a few adult scenes! xD See what comes out from sitting next to Piah during movies?
Ahahaha but it was nice and I was so proud I managed to understand the French bits, when I wasn't reading the subtitles! :)

JK rebonded her hair, just to let you know. x) It's nice and swishy now!
We bought more earrings ahhh saw some people we knew uhhh and took neoprints yay!

All in all it was quite a fun day :D but simply, ordinarily, physically so, so that when I went home I was lightheaded and floaty and brainless and couldn’t think and be the intellectual I usually am. xD Mmm-mm mummy had friends coming to visit and they brought chocolate cake! I'm going to grow fat, I am. ><

I have fingerache from playing piano.
Shant type too much then. See you! :)

<3, and drink lots of water.